Trost aftermath 3

[moonshadows]

A cool draft tickles me half awake as the comforting heat that surrounds me starts to pull away and, with a wordless grumble of protest, I tighten my arms and pull it back. I’ve just relaxed again with my face buried in something firmer than a pillow when breath ruffles my hair and I remember what, exactly, this warmth is.

Moblit.

I am holding my assistant captive; my assistant, who was holding me. And now I am awake, no longer completely relaxed, and he has to be aware of that. Fearful for how this will play out, I hold my breath.

“Squad Leader,” he says softly, “if you want me to make you breakfast, you have to let me get out of bed.”

That’s it? No protest, no commentary, no explanation or apology, no question? We’re just going to keep going as we have been and completely ignore this new development?

...actually, that’s pretty comforting. I still have no idea what to do with my feelings, or even what they are, and not being asked to examine them is an unexpected kindness that makes me feel somehow more comfortable with my assistant.

My arms tighten again, a petulant sound of no trapped between us, and he chuckles softly.

“No to me making breakfast? You’d rather sleep a little longer? We’ll have to eat whatever the Military Police provide, you know. You’re okay with that?”

He’s still avoiding the issue of our being tangled together, as if it’s something so commonplace that it doesn’t bear commenting on, and his concern is the possibility of me eating bland food. I still don’t know what I want in the long run, but for right now, what I want is to stay tangled up in his warmth and wallow in the revelation that he cares this much.

Silently, I nod against his chest, and his arms slide comfortingly back around me.

“Okay,” he says, breath ruffling my hair. “A few more minutes, but then we have to get up.”

It’s a small price to pay, and I make a sound of assent before concentrating on enjoying every moment of this reassuring closeness.

When Moblit finally stirs again, I reluctantly let go and immediately roll over into the warmth of the spot he vacated. He chuckles again, somewhere in the room, and I can hear him getting dressed. He comes back to the bed and lays a hand on my shoulder, just waiting, and after a moment I sigh.

Time to face the day.

Without commenting on how we spent the night, I shuck off my pajama top and take the clean shirt Moblit offers me, buttoning it while he unties the thong around my hair and pulls it neatly up for me. Pants and underwear are next, and he turns his back as I bid farewell to soft comfort and arrange my bits within the protective uniform cup before tugging the uniform pants over my hips and fastening them. Then it’s boots and glasses and Moblit’s shining admiration for how smart we look as we venture out to the mess hall.

Unsurprisingly, there’s none of the rowdy roughness of the Survey Corps’s mess hall. Two lines - one long, one short - lead through wide doors and people with trays file out again. Polished wooden tables with actual chairs march across the room, and a cluster of smaller, round tables lurk off to the side with the shorter line. It’s not until I see Kissy at one of them, nursing a cup of tea and a bowl of porridge, that it sinks in. Of course the Military Police would have separate accommodations for officers!

“Table or food?” I ask Moblit.

He gives me a dry look. “Food. No offense, Squad Leader.”

I wave it off. “I’d probably forget something. More than one something. Thank you, Moblit.”

With a small smile of surprised gratitude, he hurries off to the officer’s line while I lay claim to a table near the corner where I can, and do, wave Mike over when he enters.

“Officer’s line,” I tell him as he approaches, pointing to the appropriate one.

“Guessed as much,” he says quietly. “Not gonna give us any trouble for being Scouts?”

I shrug. “Anyone tries, tell them Kissandra will be pissed at them. We were in the Training Corps together.”

That gets me a dry smile. “Got it. Be right back.”

As I watch him get in line, I realize that he’s right behind Moblit. No wonder he’d guessed.

Almost as soon as Mike vanishes through the door to the serving line, Erwin enters with Levi following unhappily. He looks around, sees me, and strides over - but my attention is on Levi because he looks...well, almost as bad as most of his first year, when Farlan and Isabel’s deaths were still raw. Shit, he’s already shutting himself down in preparation for the performance that will be demanded of him at the trial. Resolutely, I fix my gaze on Erwin and do my best to pretend that Levi’s not there at all. The less emotional demand Mozu has to endure, the better, and I can’t be a source of emotional demand if I’m not interacting with him.

Erwin frowns at me, but I beat him to the punch and answer his question before he asks it. “Moblit and Mike are in line getting food.”

The frown dissipates. “When you and Mike are done eating, I need the two of you at the courthouse to make sure they don’t drug Eren again. I sent Nanaba to wait outside the door they’re keeping his friends in. She’ll make sure they’re delivered safely to the courtroom. Your assistant...I need him out front. I suspect the Military Police will be bringing in surprise witnesses, and I need to know who they are, but Levi and I will be stuck in an antechamber until just before the trial.”

“Understood,” I answer crisply.

Erwin nods. “Good. I’m counting on you.”

And then he’s walking away, with Levi following like his dead-eyed shadow, as Moblit and Mike emerge bearing laden trays.

My assistant is slightly flushed, eyes darting to my face and away, while Mike looks smugly pleased. I get no further than wondering why he’d be pleased before remembering his keen sense of smell and blushing myself. He’ll have smelled Moblit on me - or me on Moblit, or both - and made a very reasonable assumption. The saving grace is there’s no scent of sexual activity for him to smell, and he knows how I am about physical contact. Still, he’s smiling like he knows something I don’t, and Moblit’s acting like Mike said something to him.

I ignore it all in favor of the plate of food Moblit has just set in front of me. Eggs, slices of fried ham, toast with butter and honey, potatoes fried in grease with bits of onion and pepper and bacon - I’ve got three different things in my mouth before I even notice there’s a glass of milk in front of me along with a metal teapot, and Mike is pouring the tea into three cups. Moblit beams at me before stuffing a forkful of potatoes into his own mouth and making a small, involuntary sound of pleasant surprise. I make a wordless noise back - I know, right? - and nod because this is right up there with his cooking, and I don’t regret at all having stolen those extra few minutes of being held.

It’s a minute or two before I remember to relay Erwin’s message, and they both nod in acknowledgment, but then we all go back to devouring this excellent meal. Mike has opted for porridge rather than potatoes, something that would surprise anyone who hadn’t picked up on his affinity for horses. It’s got honey and berries in it, and I have to fight a smile at the quiet, deep noises of appreciation he makes as he shovels it into his mouth. Moblit finishes a few bites before I do, downing the rest of his milk and letting out a contented sigh as he slumps in his seat, looking so satisfied that it’s almost sexual. Hurriedly, I finish my last few bites so as to not stare because it’s just sunk in that I’ve seen that look on his face before, on rare occasions where we’ve just finished an actual meal rather than the half-meals and snacks he usually has the most success convincing me to eat.

This is neither the time nor the place to contemplate how warm that look makes me feel, or the surprisingly sudden desire to see it on his face again. The only expressions I’ve seen him wear that rival it are the brilliant smiles he so rarely showers on me when he’s been able to turn me from a hung-over mess into a shining specimen of the Survey Corps. I’d chide myself for never noticing how happy good food makes Moblit, but I know damn well that I can be blind to everything else when something has my attention.

Well, I’ve noticed it now, and I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to chew on my feelings regarding it while we wait for the order to escort Eren from his cell to the courtroom.

There are actual servants scurrying around clearing the dishes when an officer leaves their table, so once we’re all finished eating we stand and leave. Mike’s already in his full uniform, so he heads out with a nod and Moblit and I return to our room to finish getting ready.

Maybe it’s me being weird, but I just don’t feel fully dressed unless I’ve got ODM belts embracing me all over.

We each do our own belts today, since we both need to put them on, and each one I buckle feels like it’s filling me with confidence and energy. I actually finish before Moblit and put that energy to good use helping him with the more difficult buckles, since he doesn’t share my hyper-flexibility. The smile I get for that is one part admiration, two parts joy, and something that flutters in my throat and makes me feel like maybe, I could bring up the subject of feelings and it would only result in the soaring exhilaration of flying through the air with my ODM hissing at my back, and not the terror of falling.

It almost happens. My mouth opens, intent filling my belly, but the words aren’t there and what comes out is, “Remember the tea.”

Moblit nods. “If Erwin is being held in an antechamber, maybe I could stay there and have water ready to go when the trial is over.”

That’s a good idea, but my brain is working smoothly and easily and my hands are already in motion, digging through our packs to pull out a first-aid kit. “If everything goes according to plan,” and it’s annoying sometimes just how accurately Erwin’s gambles play out, “then Eren may be in very bad shape afterwards.” I hold the kit out to Moblit. “Take this with you and keep it, along with the tea, for afterwards.”

He nods, already tucking the small tin into one pocket. “How soon after do you think they’ll hustle us into a carriage?”

In other words, should he pack now. “That depends on if we win. We’ll be paying our own way back if we lose.”

Moblit laughs. “I’ll have plenty of time, then, while they prepare our carriages. Okay, Squad Leader, let me have a look at you.”

I straighten, standing just shy of a salute, while my assistant inspects me with a critical eye.

“You look amazing,” he says in a tone that bleeds devotion. “Every bit a proper Survey Corps officer.”

“It’s an illusion,” I counter dryly, and his laugh brings that flutter back to my chest.

“I know that, and you know that, but the Military Police don’t,” he says, smiling. “Con them good, Squad Leader.”

There is an answering smile on my face, and I am acting on the impulse to ruffle his hair almost before I’m aware of it. He laughs, looking delighted, before reaching for his brush and straightening it again.

All the way to the courthouse, I think of his smile and how warm and fluttery his laugh made me feel. It’s not the same as the elation that fills me when I succeed in making Levi do what passes for smile and laugh, that sparkling joy that I have amused him, but it’s somehow more gentle and...comfortable? Less intense. If making Levi laugh is a shot of rich bourbon, then Moblit’s laugh is a glass of wine. No, a mug of ale. Still heady and intoxicating, but meant to be savored over time rather than consumed all at once.

I don’t have a comparison for Erwin. I’m not sure he knows how to smile or laugh without it being part of his Perfect And Noble Commander demeanor, and that sends a frisson of frustration through me as we reach the courthouse steps.

“I’ll see you after the trial, Squad Leader,” my assistant says with a smile that makes me forget about Erwin’s emotional constipation. “I know we’ll win, and it will be because you corrected the Commander’s plans somehow. On behalf of humanity, thank you for your brilliance.”

He salutes me, beaming when I blush, and then hurries off to a shadowed corner behind a pillar where he can observe everyone coming and going without being observed himself. Absurdly cheered by his antics, I stride into the building with my head held high and confidence seeping from every pore.

===

 Mike’s leaning against the wall roughly where Moblit and I were just yesterday, and he grins as I join him.

“Got good sleep last night,” he says, not so much a question as an observation and maybe an invitation to elaborate.

I decline. “Sure did.”

“Good,” he says warmly. “Glad someone did.” His gaze slides over to me, although his head stays still. “Think you’ll sleep that good once we get back?”

Resolutely, I keep my eyes forward. “Who knows?”

There are many things Mike and I talk about. I count him as one of my closest friends, and I know he sees me the same way. But the tangled mess that is my feelings for anyone who really, truly accepts that I exist outside the binary of male and female...no. That’s not something I’m prepared to discuss with anyone. Thankfully, Mike knows when to drop a subject.

“Thanks for looking out for Nanaba.”

“She’s my friend, too,” I point out, but I’m grinning. “Honestly, it was a stroke of luck, running into Sabine like that.”

Mike snorts. “You’re not Erwin; you don’t run on luck. You would have tracked her down if she hadn’t met us at the door.”

“Never settle for chance when you can tip the scales,” I agree cheerfully. “Speaking of - how do you want to handle taking Eren to the courtroom?”

We toss ideas back and forth for a few minutes, spinning increasingly ludicrous scenarios for spooking the Cadet before settling on tried-and-true: Mike will sniff him and I’ll ramble until we get there, then leave him on an ominous note. Mike hadn’t heard the full story of what I was up to in Trost, and we swap snippets as we wait. Hearing how I handled Captain Shitstain makes him snort in amusement, and in return he tells me how Levi lived up to his nickname, stooping on unsuspecting titans like a human butcherbird. There’s a thoughtful pause before he asks me if I think Levi slept at all last night, and I have to admit that I suspect he’s running on naps. Mike frowns at that, but says nothing, even when I state quietly that he probably won’t sleep on the trip back, either. Two carriages would normally mean he could stretch out on one bench, but we’ll be taking Eren back with us if we win - seeing as he’s been officially accepted into the Survey Corps - and it would be just like the Military Police to send Armin and Mikasa back with us as well. That leaves only a single empty seat, assuming Mike and Nanaba are driving the carriages.

For purposes of public appearance, it will no doubt be Erwin and Levi in the first carriage with Eren, “guarding” the “prisoner”, while Moblit and I take the two Cadets with us in the second carriage. Given how protective of Eren Mikasa is, I have no doubt that she’ll move to the first carriage the first time we stop to change horses, and Erwin will likely switch to the second carriage under the mistaken assumption that it will be...maybe not quieter, but less tense. He will discover that Armin and I share a passion for the natural world, and that I am cheerfully talking my assistant’s ear off, and at the second stop he will switch back to the carriage of hopefully-sleeping teenagers and the silent annoyance of Levi.

Poor Mozu, stuck with no good choices.

“Maybe he could ride outside with you a bit,” I say hesitantly.

Mike huffs and looks away, weight shifting from one foot to the other for a moment before he settles again. “It is pretty peaceful being on the outside,” he admits slowly. “I wouldn’t mind the company.” After another pause, he says, “He doesn’t sleep much, does he?”

“The Underground doesn’t lend itself to eight hours of sleep at night,” I answer dryly. “There’s no night, for example, and deep sleep is a luxury many down there don’t have the security to afford.”

“So he naps, and only when he feels secure.” Mike nods, as if I’ve just confirmed his suspicions. “He’s going to drop-kick me as soon as we get back, isn’t he?”

I stifle a laugh. “Probably. Sorry.”

He looks away again, but his weight stays firmly on his heels. “It’s fine. Doesn’t hurt, and there’s worse things than pretending to be unconscious for a couple of hours while someone uses me for a mattress.”

In other words, the human butcherbird has managed to worm his way into the herd, becoming one of the people that Mike will staunchly defend against enemies and allow close to him. There’s a spike of jealousy that Mike gets Levi cuddles and I don’t, but I fight it back. I know from years of personal experience that Mike is a very grounding, reassuring, comforting presence when he’s allowed you close, where I am a bundle of bones and nerves. As much as I crave physical contact, the comfort in any cuddle session is all mine. Mozu is as high-strung as I am, and I have no doubts whatsoever that he finds cuddle-time with Mike every bit as relaxing as I do.

Luckily, Mike doesn’t seem to mind Levi stooping on him to drag him off when he thinks I need enforced relaxation, even if it does make him feel like the prey of a butcherbird.

No, Mike is definitely the best source of reassuring physical contact, and with how much Levi flinches at any physical contact, I have no cause to be jealous that he’s cuddling with Mike on occasion. I’m still the only one that gets the occasional touch, hair-ruffling and head-patting, tiny gestures of affection I saw him lavish only sparingly, and only on Isabel before her death, and I am not a relaxing person to cuddle. If Mozu needs to lay on someone for a while, then Mike is absolutely the best choice.

This is a conversation I have had with myself many times, and as always, it ends in victory. This time, however, there’s a new slant to that victory because if I’m reading Mike’s body language correctly - and it’s hard sometimes, because growing up on a horse ranch means he uses equine body language more often than not - then Mike’s assertion of not minding being used as a mattress is actually an understatement.

If I’m right, Mike likes Levi dragging him off for cuddles, and that gives me something new to chew on while we wait, in silence, for what feels like hours until footsteps approach, echoing off the stone walls and stone floor.

Predictably, it’s a pair of MP with manacles, and they stop uncertainly in front of us.

“We’re to bring the prisoner to his hearing,” one of them states somewhat angrily.

Mike snorts, head lowering just a tiny bit, and I smile.

“You mean you’re here to inform us that Eren Yeager, legally recognized as a member of the Survey Corps, is being summoned to his hearing. Right?” I finish brightly. “Because, of course, as a Scout he falls under our chain of command rather than yours.”

The second soldier, the one holding the manacles, scowls at me. “That’s not-”

The first one stops the outburst with one raised hand. “It’s true. The prisoner is under their command.” He smiles nastily at me. “However, given the charges brought against him, moving from cell to courtroom still requires manacles and an escort by two of Paradis’s Finest.” He snaps his fingers at his subordinate, then points to me. “So you get to put those on him, and we’ll just stand back and watch.”

Briefly, I scowl at him before snatching up the shackles his smirking subordinate is holding out, and with a determined bounce in my step I fairly skip down the hall to the cell on the end, where two very bored MP soldiers are standing to either side. They eye me warily as I approach, then Mike who is following as implacable as a draft horse pulling a plow, and finally the smug faces of the turds strolling insolently after us. The plan was for me to be cheerful and innocuous; all that’s changed is I have more witnesses. I fling myself at the bars of the cell door in forced excitement.

“Eren Yeager, right?” I chirp. “Squad Leader Hanje Zoe. You remember me from Trost?”

Some of the anxious confusion clears from his face. “Of course, Squad Leader!”

“I hear congratulations are in order! Armin told me how much you wanted to join the Survey Corps, and now you’ve succeeded! Well, Scout Yeager, sorry it took so long, but we’re getting you out.”

Wary relief and hope drives the rest of the confusion from his face, and I give him an apologetic look.

“There’s just one catch.” I thrust the manacles between the bars. “You have to put these on.”

Eren holds very still as the guards open his cell and transfer his wrists from the shackles chaining him to the wall, to the ones that keep his arms secure behind his back. All his faith is in me as he steps meekly out of his cell, and he jumps when it slams shut just behind him, but he does fall into step as I lead the way back down the hall. Our escort falls in behind us as we pass, and Mike takes advantage of his long legs to surge up behind Eren, taking his measure with several deep sniffs.

“Squad Leader Mike Zacharias,” I announce cheerfully as he leans back from his olfactory examination. “He has a habit of sniffing new people.”

Mike snorts in amusement.

“...and he laughs through his nose. It’s nothing to be concerned about,” I reassure Eren. “Oddness aside, he’s more than skilled enough to be a Squad Leader, and he’s very protective of the recruits that get assigned to him. That won’t be you, though,” I continue as we leave the prison level. “With your skill and your special abilities, you’ll be going right into Captain Levi’s squad. It’s quite an honor, you know! Levi is very picky about those he takes under his command. I know he seems cold and distant and utterly without any human feelings, but he’s really quite gentle and sophisticated under all that! ...although,” I add doubtfully, “I’m told that I’m the only one who sees it. Still, I’m sure you’ll be in good hands with him.”

We arrive at a pair of ornate double doors, and I stop with an entirely artificial sound of despair.

“Oh no! I’ve wasted all our time chit-chatting, and we’re already here!”

Eren freezes, like a deer hearing a twig snap, fear filling his eyes.

“Still- no, it will be fine. It’s better if you don’t know,” I declare cheerfully, pulling the doors open and standing aside as the two soldiers frogmarch him through them into the dim hallway over his attempts to protest. “Eren...” My voice drops into the male register, and he twists his head to look at me. “It may be selfish of us, but we’re counting on you,” I warn him with a serious expression. Then it’s all sparkles again. “Good luck!”

And I slam the doors in his startled and suddenly very alarmed face, one fist in my mouth to stifle my laughter.

“You’re evil,” Mike says, but he’s fighting laughter, too.

I grin at him. “I know. That was so much fun, though! Alright, let’s find the side door and watch from the balcony.”

Eren’s already secured to the locking post by the time we file to the front of the balcony, where Larinda gives me a silent but excited hug. I scan the crowds to either side of the courtroom floor, looking for- there, and there! Erwin and Levi, with Armin and Mikasa surrounded by Garrison uniforms, and on their other side...Commander Pixis and Captain Rico? My eyes narrow as I search the other Garrison faces, but Captain Shitstain and Captain Hannes aren’t there. What is Commander Nile playing at?

The dark robes of the Wallists standing by his side answer that for me; they’re pulling his strings, and they wouldn’t care a bit about Eren’s humanity or lack thereof. All they care about is the Wall, and the fact that Eren dared interfere with its holy integrity. Forget that it was to save humanity; the Wallists are crazy enough that they value the Walls over those who live within them. I have to assume that Erwin has already taken this twist into account. From up here, I can’t see Levi’s expression, but I already know that he’s not in a good place so really, what would it accomplish to see exactly how badly he’s dealing with this?

As we predicted, Darius Zachary is running the show, and he announces that this will effectively be a court-martial: the regular rules and laws don’t apply. Everything is in his hands, and he will decide if Eren lives or dies. There’s an interesting twist, though - as he addresses Eren, he uses an honorific.

Before the Walls, before the titans, our language and culture was very interested in how people related to each other on the social scale. At least, that’s what the history books said, but in the century since most of humanity was wiped out, most of that fell to the wayside. The common people don’t care who’s better than who and the nobles know where they stand, so honorifics are used only rarely and usually by educated people wanting to lend a certain emphasis to the conversation. I get Hanje-san on occasion, when Moblit’s desperately trying to convince me to stop what I’m doing, using a respectful honorific to add a layer of pleading.

Darius Zachary used -kun while addressing Eren.

I’m fairly certain it went over the heads of almost everyone in the courtroom; hopefully Erwin caught it. In that one syllable, I see our inevitable victory because it means the commander of the joint military branches is treating Eren as a comrade. Not a prisoner, not a monster, not even as a stranger because the -kun honorific is informal and used between members of the same organization. Beside me, Mike is listening impassively and Larinda on the other side is paying rapt attention, but I have both hands fisted by my mouth struggling to contain my glee.

We’re going to win.

Zachary goes on to explain that Eren’s existence as someone who can turn into a titan has to be made public by the government before the rumors cause the general populace to panic, and that the point of this trial is to determine whether the MP or the SC get custody of him. That’s a bluff, though, because we already have custody of him and Zachary knows it. The Wallists don’t, I realize, and neither do the assorted nobles and merchants filling half of the courtroom. So this is a demonstration, then, and not a trial. A farce to ‘prove’ that the Survey Corps has everything under control and head off that panic.

Well, we’re certainly going to put on a good show.

Commander Nile Dok of the Military Police is given the floor to outline their proposal for Eren, and it’s predictable: dissection and termination. His existence, apparently, is ‘stirring rebellious ideas’ and he should be disposed of as soon as there’s nothing more to learn. Before I can wonder which faction put him up to that, the Wallist to his left fairly explodes into incensed ranting about how Eren should be killed immediately for ‘violating’ the Walls. Nile calls him Pastor Nick when he politely begs the man to be quiet, and I do my best to memorize his voice since I can’t see his face from the balcony, which is above and behind the MP’s section.

With that outburst settled, Zachary asks Erwin his plans, and Erwin calmly declares our intent to use Eren to retake the land within Wall Maria without giving out any details as to how. “That’s all,” he finishes like the smug little shit I know he’s being even if his face and voice are completely calm.

As expected, a rustle of anticipatory greed sweeps the courtroom and even Zachary is intrigued. “That’s all?” he repeats, all but begging Erwin to continue and elaborate.

He doesn’t. “With his help, we can reclaim Wall Maria,” Erwin states, still providing no details. “I believe it is clear what our outmost priority should be.”

With that, he’s neatly defanged a lot of potential arguments because no one is going to publicly admit to not wanting to retake Wall Maria. But his smooth delivery is as much a weapon as the words themselves, because they have been turned into a direct challenge to counter that assertion, while also framing any dissent as selfish cowardice.

Still, Zachary pokes the statement cautiously, asking where this expedition would be launched from, and calling on Commander Pixis to confirm that Trost’s outer gate is no longer an option. Erwin declares that we’d use the Eastern Wall district of Calaneth and establish a new route to Shiganshina, and is almost immediately interrupted by a frightened merchant babbling about sealing the rest of the gates to keep humanity safe. As those are the only parts of the Walls that can be broken by the Colossal Titan, sealing them should keep humanity safe.

Unless he’s already inside the Walls, I think as someone from the Garrison side yells for him to shut up, spurred by the promise of retaking Wall Maria.

Is that why Colossal and Armored hadn’t made an appearance after attacking Shiganshina - they just needed to get inside the Walls? If that’s the case, and if I’m correct in suspecting that they are members of the 104th, then they would have been twelve at the oldest and caught up in the crush of people trying to flee to safety. They would have lived in the aftermath of the destruction they’d caused, forced to come to terms with the consequences of their actions. Even if they had been taught that we were somehow the enemy, dehumanized and vilified, two years living among the crowded and starving refugees would have caused that mindset to take a severe beating.

Is that why they enlisted, I wonder? Were they already regretting their actions? And why - why were they sent here, if the complete destruction of our civilization was not their goal? As much as I want my dream to have been wrong and Bertholt to not have lost his father, I do hope he approaches me again. This trial is a horrifying preview of what would happen if anyone suspected what I do about his friends, and I am sadly certain that almost no one would see them as the conflicted children they would have been. I can’t protect them if they don’t trust me enough to let me try. Shit, they haven’t even graduated yet and I’ve already gotten attached.

Levi is shutting the merchant up, calling him on his greed and pointing out that the masses are struggling to scrape by. The merchant tries to defend himself, only to have Pastor Nick turn on him for suggesting that the Walls be violated. They bicker for a minute before Zachary calls for order.

“Yeager-kun,” he says, using that honorific again as he addresses Eren, “I wish to make certain of something. As a soldier, can you continue to serve humanity by controlling your Titan ability?”

Eren immediately declares that he can, but Zachary brings up that moment in Trost when he swung at Mikasa and I can feel the tension in the room spike. Across the courtroom, Captain Rico lifts her head avoiding Mikasa’s glare and our eyes meet. She stiffens defiantly, and I know this is why she was brought in. Zachary calls on Mikasa to verify this report, which she does, but also points out that the first time he transformed, he saved her life from two titans who had caught her momentarily unprepared. The crowd doesn’t even have time to process that statement before Nile’s calling her objectivity into question. Apparently, Dr. Yeager took her in when her parents were killed at the age of nine - but even more damning is the fact that she and Eren, at the age of nine, killed the three men responsible for killing her parents in front of her. Nile finishes by questioning the wisdom of putting trust - and funds - into a boy whose basic humanity is in such serious doubt.

The crowd immediately erupts into frightened whispers, and Eren looks absolutely stricken, but I have to wonder how that bit of information came to fall into Nile’s hands. The MP couldn’t have found it in the last two days; that would have been in Shiganshina’s records, which are all back in Shiganshina. Someone has been keeping an eye on Eren, and given his father’s absence and Ymir’s damning admissions, I’m starting to get a very bad feeling about this.

Before I can really settle in to chew on it, someone accuses Mikasa of being a titan in disguise, and Eren finally snaps. He may be a monster, he shouts, but Mikasa has nothing to do with this and the yelling goes back and forth for a few breaths before he jerks against the restraining pole, making it clang in its mounting, and the argument dies in a sea of frightened gasps. In that hesitant silence, he accuses everyone of taking the opportunity to push selfish agendas, pointing out that here in the capitol, they are absolutely protected and have never even seen a titan, so why are they afraid? What’s the point of having power if they’re not going to use it to fight, he asks, and if they’re too afraid to fight for their lives, then why not put their faith in him and let him do it for them? Cowards, he calls them, and the courtroom again falls into stunned silence as he finishes in a shout.

Then Nile gives the order for one of his soldiers to take aim, and I know it’s now or never.

Levi vaults the railing and delivers a roundhouse kick to Eren’s jaw, knocking a tooth loose and sending it skittering across the floor with a clatter similar to a pebble on ceramic tile.

Eren has just enough time to look up in confusion before Levi kicks him in the gut, then hauls his head up for a knee to the face. As the crowd watches in shock, he continues kicking Eren with no signs of holding back or stopping until Mikasa is trembling with rage against Armin’s hold on her, and blood drips freely down Eren’s face to splatter on the floor. Then, with one booted foot holding the boy’s head down, he pauses.

“My personal belief,” he says in a voice utterly detached from the violence of his actions, the words carrying easily despite him not raising his voice, “is that pain is the best tool for teaching discipline. What you need now,” he continues with the slightest edge creeping in, “is to be taught a lesson, not given a talking-to. And you happen to be in a perfect position for kicking...”

Without another word, he continues his assault, dispassionately pounding Eren’s head with his foot while everyone looks in in disbelief that’s turning to horror and disgust. Nile is the first one to break the silence.

“Wait, Levi!”

Levi stops with his foot pressing Eren’s face against the restraining pole. “What?”

“That’s dangerous,” Nile says in a strangled tone. “What if he gets mad and turns into a titan?”

Eren struggles to raise his head enough to glare at Levi, who kicks him again before saying, “What are you talking about?” I can almost see his disgust as he grabs Eren by the hair and hauls his bruised, bleeding face up to face Nile. “You guys are going to dissect him, aren’t you?” The Military Police blanche collectively as he lets Eren’s head drop again. “When he was transformed into a titan, he apparently managed to kill twenty titans before running out of strength. An an enemy, his intelligence makes him all the more dangerous. Even so, I could handle him just fine. But could you?” he finishes, voice raised to make it a challenge to everyone present. “Whoever dares to torment him had better think long and hard. Can you actually kill him?”

Before anyone has a chance to think past their horror, Erwin has his hand in the air. “Sir,” he announces calmly, “I have a proposition.”

“What is it?” Zachary asks almost warily.

“Eren’s titan ability includes too many uncertainties which pose an ever-present danger,” Erwin answers in that same calm voice. “As such, we will place Eren under Captain Levi’s supervision and conduct a recon mission outside the Wall.”

Zachary is intrigued. Either that or impressed. “With Eren accompanying you?”

“Yes. Based on the results of the mission, you can decide if Eren has control over his titan ability, and if his existence is of benefit to humanity.”

It’s the ideal solution, and everyone knows it. Still, Zachary asks Levi if he can handle supervising the titan shifter.

“Oh, I can most definitely kill him.” Levi sounds like he’d even relish the opportunity. Then, for the first time, he turns away from Eren to look up at the commander of the combined military. “The problem is that there’s no middle ground.”

In other words, he’s just implied that the first time Eren steps out of line, it will mean the loss of his nape. Zachary humphs.

“I’ve reached my decision,” he announces, quickly enough that it’s painfully clear he’d reached it a while ago. The silence stretches out of sheer dramatic indulgence.

When the decision is voiced, a ripple of relief spreads through the courtroom.

Nile has the grace to lower his head in a dignified concession to defeat.

Just about everyone starts streaming out of the courtroom, and the residents of the balcony are no different, but I’m just about the only one trying to go the other way. There’s still a tooth on that floor, and I’ll bash a few skulls in myself to get my hands on it - but I don’t need to. A few elbows win me a path, and it’s not hard to find. Mike follows me in while I secure my prize, and together with Erwin and Levi we watch as the MP reluctantly remove the restraining pole and manacles from our new recruit.

===

Erwin leads our little procession through the halls - minus the Military Police escort - to the room where my assistant is, hopefully, waiting. Eren follows him nervously with Levi looming behind him, Mike bringing up the rear behind me, while I am providing a small amount of grim-faced insulation for what seems to be an unhinged Levi to anyone who can’t read him the way I can. Poor Mozu is at the limits of what he can endure without breaking down, and his iron self-control is starting to crack. Mike doesn’t say anything, but I can tell from his posture that he knows how unstable Levi is right now.

He hasn’t been in this bad a place since the first months after he joined, when his grief was still raw and he was emotionally bleeding with every breath.

Moblit hovers by the door as we file in, Erwin stepping discreetly to one side out of the way. The searing glare I directed his way as we formed up to leave the courtroom was crystal clear, and one that he remembers from those horrible first months. If you do not keep your mouth shut around Levi, it said, I will sever your large intestine from your anus and feed it to you so you can literally eat the shit you’re spewing. Erwin may be prone to risky gambles, but he knows that crossing me is a sure thing, so he steps aside and contrives to look noble but uninvolved. A quiet word from Moblit has Levi follow him to the fireplace, where a kettle is simmering and a teacup has been prepared, the fine metal chain of an infuser tinkling as Moblit drops it into the kettle. Eren looks uncertainly behind him and I gesture at the couch, where the first aid kit is waiting. Behind me, Mike closes the door and then casually takes a stance to the other side, where his bulk coincidentally blocks Eren’s view of Levi.

The herd closes ranks around its injured member.

“Didn’t I tell you it would be fine?”

Eren looks up at me, surprised by my cheerful tone. “Uh...”

“...and you not knowing worked very well in our favor,” I continue, opening the first aid kit and getting out the cotton balls and alcohol. “Thank you for playing your part so well, Scout Yeager, and please forgive the deceptions necessary to let us pull that series of events off.”

He thinks that over as I start cleaning the blood off his face. “It was planned?”

“It sure was! Your outburst was everything we were hoping it would be. Given you regrew an arm and a leg, we thought a little beating wouldn’t hurt you too badly, but please tell me if it does. Ah! Are you in pain?” I ask belatedly.

Eren winces. “A little.”

“Where? Can you describe it?”

Maybe actively talking about his wounds isn’t the best thing to be doing with Levi right there, but what Eren describes is much lighter than I know he went through, and I smother a sigh of relief that this slip turned out well. Hearing that he didn’t do any permanent damage - even the tooth has already grown back - will soothe some of Levi’s raw nerves, and the glances I sneak at him show him sitting at the little table, focused on the tea Mike picked out for him.

I wonder briefly how that makes Mike feel, knowing that his nose is responsible for the sensory distraction currently calming the frazzled butcherbird.

It’s at least two cups of tea before I’ve got Eren cleaned up, and most of the damage has healed by that point. He looks uncertain and a little shaken, but that’s to be expected after all he’s been through. I give Erwin a don’t make me abuse perfectly good fruit baking you a tart look, and he steps forward from the wall while I retreat to stand between Mike and Moblit, further shielding Levi from the rest of the room.

“I’m sorry about putting you through that,” Erwin starts, and behind me I can hear the barest sound of a cut-off breath. “It did get you placed in our custody, however, so your pain was worth it. You let us play our trump card when it would be most effective.” He goes down on one knee, offering his hand to the startled and star-struck Cadet, while I can hear a breath hissing faintly from between Levi’s teeth. “I look forward to working with you, Eren.”

Naturally, Eren takes his hero’s hand. “Thank you, sir!”

The teacup clinks as Levi sets it down; the chair scrapes gently across the floor as he stands up. The hair on the back of my neck prickles as Levi steps around us, and Erwin retreats as he paces towards the couch - and Eren. This...is not good. Levi isn’t moving like himself. There’s an expressiveness to his motions, the sort that I’d expect to see if he were drunk, but I’ve never seen him take more than a single sip of anything alcoholic. I lock down my expression as he flops down next to Eren, one arm flung over the back of the couch.

“Tell me, Eren...”

Eren looks as alarmed as I feel, but probably not for the same reason. “Y-yes?”

“Do you resent me?”

The words come out casually, as if Levi couldn’t care less about the answer, but his expression tells a different story. There’s self-loathing there, in the slant of his brow, and although he stares straight ahead, his eyes flick to Erwin for just a moment. This is a very unhappy Mozu, and when Erwin glances at me I try my best to communicate that with a tiny headshake and a significant look at the door.

“No,” Eren answers hesitantly. “I understand that it was a necessary performance.”

“Good,” Levi says shortly.

Eren may not resent Levi, but he’s far from comfortable with him and this is only going to get more awkward unless someone - namely me - does something.

Time to babble.

“But it was such an amazing performance!” I enthuse, Levi’s averted gaze proof that I have managed to pour on the false cheer. “Tell me - did you feel it when your tooth grew back? What did it feel like?”

“Uh...” Eren blinks at me. “A little...fuzzy? I guess? Maybe tingly...I’m not really sure which one it was.”

It only takes a moment to pull out my handkerchief and unfold it. “This one!”

“Ugh, you picked it up? That’s disgusting,” Levi asserts, but he’s not looking at me. It’s an...apology? Or maybe a plea for normalcy. Mozu’s trying to hide the cracks in his shells, poor thing.

“It’s not disgusting; it’s a precious sample! Especially since we won’t be kicking any more of your teeth out, but...Eren, if you should happen to lose any more body parts...”

Levi snorts. “Eren, be glad you aren’t being dissected by people like this four-eyed idiot.”

Loftily, I wrap my prize again. “Don’t compare me to them,” I protest with a mock-pout. “I would never kill Eren. He’s a person, not a specimen.” Okay, enough of this, we need to get out of here. “Erwin,” I say, turning to him, “when are we leaving for Trost? I still need to pack.”

Or rather, Moblit does, but it’s basically the same thing.

Erwin takes the hint. “I’ll confer with Nile and arrange for two carriages. We can transport the other two Cadets at the same time. I’ll send someone to your room with more information.” He nods to everyone and is gone at a speed that’s impressive considering he managed to make it not look like he was fleeing the situation.

Mike stretches. “I’ll be in the stables. I want to get as much shut-eye as I can before driving a carriage all night again.”

“Use our room,” Levi says without looking, a key dangling between his fingers. “No one’s going back there until we’re leaving anyway. You can use the set of clean sheets on the chair.”

There’s a moment of surprised silence before Mike nods and takes the key. “I’ll leave it unlocked,” he tells me as he moves towards the door, “so the Military Police lackeys can get the Commander’s pack without waking me up.”

It’s a flimsy excuse for leaving the door unlocked, but no one calls him on it as he leaves. Unless I am very much mistaken, that was Mike indirectly offering himself up as Levi’s mattress and Levi accepting, and I’m too concerned for my friend’s emotional health to feel even a second of jealousy.

“Moblit-”

“Ah! Yes, Squad Leader, I’ll get to packing right away.”

“-I’m taking Eren to see Kissandra,” I finish dryly. “He may have the ability to turn into a titan, but his blood doesn’t evaporate and he hasn’t had a change of clothes since the Military Police hauled him out of Trost. You’ll love the showers here,” I tell Eren. “Hot water for days. And then once you’re all cleaned up, we’ll see about getting a good meal into you before we leave.”

“Please remember to eat as well, Squad Leader,” Moblit says plaintively.

I grin at him. “If you pack quickly, you can join us.”

With a relieved and eager nod, he flees. Eren stands at my gesture and precedes me out of the room, and I turn to meet Levi’s eyes. A quick head-jerk at the kettle, a brief smile, and there’s surprise and gratitude in the slackness around his mouth before I close the door and leave him alone with a pot of very good tea.

===

As I expected, Kissy is very interested in helping the titan shifter find some clean clothes. She takes his measurements and provides him with everything but a jacket, which she apologizes for but all the ones she has access to have unicorn patches, not winged ones. Eren stammers out that it’s okay, but the way she purses her lips has me swallow a smile because I know she’s not going to rest until she’s found a solution. She piles toiletries into a towel and adds that to the pile, and with a promise to meet her in the dining hall for lunch I escort Eren to the showers.

He looks a lot more settled once he’s clean and dressed in fresh clothes, and I’m doubly glad I made this decision. He probably wouldn’t have dared ask this for himself, and just endured the carriage ride in stinky, bloody silence, but with how raw Levi’s nerves are I didn’t want even the initial two-hour leg to be that much more to endure. Eren asks what he should do with the old clothes and the toiletries, and I tell him to leave them in the changing room - Kissy will see that they’re taken care of.

“Your friend sure is friendly, Squad Leader,” he says as we head to the dining hall.

I grin. “People remember kindness, and they look favorably on someone who went the extra step for them. With how much the Military Police runs on favors and connections, Kissy decided to make that a career move.”

“But...” he gapes at me for a moment. “I’m not...”

“You’re someone who turned into a titan and killed twenty other titans,” I point out. “You’re the reason Trost didn’t have to be abandoned. You may only be fifteen, but that makes your actions more remarkable, not less. Don’t you think you’re someone worth impressing?”

Eren thinks about that for a minute. “I guess so.”

We’re still not at the dining hall, and I take a breath before asking, “Eren...when did you last see your father?”

He frowns at that. “Just before the attack. He said he had to go into the Interior for a few days. But...”

Trying not to look as interested as I feel, I wait for whatever thought he’s mulling over.

“While we were in the first refugee shelter...I had a dream that I saw him. And when I woke up, I had the key to the basement around my neck.”

I ate him. I ate him! But then I was myself again...

“I last saw my father when I was just a little older,” I say quietly, changing the subject for both of our sakes. “He put me in a carriage and sent me off to join the Training Corps. We knew he was sick, and that he wouldn’t be getting better, and neither of us wanted me to have to watch him die.”

“That’s terrible,” Eren says, equally quiet. “Mikasa had to watch hers be killed. Armin lost his parents even younger. The world really is a cruel place.”

“And that’s why kindness is important,” I tell him as we enter the dining hall. Motion from the corner draws my eyes, and I return the wave before realizing that it’s not just Kissy - it’s Sabine and Nanaba and Moblit as well. I guide Eren over to the table they’ve claimed. “Eren, this is my assistant Moblit, my friend Sabine, and Squad Leader Mike’s second, Nanaba. She’ll be driving the second carriage. Everyone, this is our newest recruit, Eren Yeager.”

Kissy looks like she’s about to burst with pride. “Scout Yeager,” she says, holding out a brown bundle, “may I be the first to congratulate you on joining the Survey Corps?”

The bundle falls open, revealing itself to be a jacket with the winged patches that have been hastily sown over recently-removed unicorns, and Eren takes it with trembling hands, stammering thanks. Grinning, Moblit and Nanaba help him into it just for the ceremony of the act, and he looks like he’s going to burst into either tears, or pure sunshine.

“Scavenged the patches off a damaged jacket a while back,” she explains, justifiably pleased with herself. “Thought they might come in handy, some day. Shall we get something to eat?”

With Kissy leading and Sabine bringing up the rear, we file through the officer’s line and leave the staff murmuring about having seen The Titan Boy. If Eren hears the murmurs, though, he doesn’t react. Moblit and Nanaba sandwich him on one side of our table, distracting him with talk about what he can expect in the SC, while Sabine and Kissy flank me on the other side and we catch up on years’ worth of gossip. The food is just as exceptional as breakfast was, and I demolish some kind of vegetable-and dumpling dish with roasted chicken and an herbed gravy. Across the table, Eren is eating with the gusto of a teenager who has likely only had one meal in the last two days.

When everyone is finished - and yes, Moblit is wearing the look of culinary satisfaction that makes me feel warm and squirmy - we say our goodbyes to Sabine and Kissy, and Nanaba and I both get hugs. Moblit gets one from Sabine, to his surprise, and then she and Kissy both salute a startled and flustered Eren, who salutes proudly back. Nanaba leads the way back to the rooms we were given, Eren striding proudly along behind her while Moblit and I follow like beaming parents. Judging by the MP passing us with packs as we make our way down the hall towards the rooms, we have timed things just right. Mike and Erwin are nowhere to be seen, but a much calmer Levi is waiting to inform us that the carriages are ready.

As the others turn to follow the departing MP, Levi catches my eyes. The tightness on his face relaxes into a rare softness that expresses his gratitude better than a thousand words could, the barest ghost of a smile curving his lips, and then he looks away from the sparkling happiness he has elicited and leaves me to beam at his back as he follows the others.