Mmm, my ding-ding-dong

[moonshadows]

 

“…I just can’t get enough of you, boy! Ohh, you touch my tra-la-la!” Tessa shook her hips, then posed provocatively. “Illidan?”

“Hmm?”

“You haven’t told me to stop.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to.”

The Thai girl’s heart pounded in her chest. “You…want me to dance?”

Stone scraped as he stood up and then fingers brushed her bicep. Illidan walked around until he could lay his hands on her hips, breath tickling the back of her neck. “I can’t see everything at once, but I’ll start with this.”

Tessa swallowed, then began moving in time with the music. Her skin burned under her clothes where his hands rested. As much as she flirted jokingly, it was never a joke and this was the first time Illidan hadn’t rebuffed her. When the song ended, a hard something brushed against her back and he murmured, “Ohh, you touch my tra-la-la.”

She licked her lips. “Your ding-ding-dong?”

“Come over to my place tomorrow,” he half-commanded. “Dad’s working and Furion’s got a ripe batch of moonshine.”

Tessa twisted her head, trying to catch a glimpse of his face. What she caught instead was his lips against hers, and a tiny electric thrill passed between them. “Okay,” she gasped, cheeks burning.

Feeling a shard of his old confidence return at having shaken the normally-spunky girl, Illidan grinned. “Ten?”

“Whatever,” she agreed breathlessly.

With a low chuckle, Illidan released her and found the wall again. “Bring your backpack,” he suggested wickedly. “We can study for that bio test.”

Tessa’s face felt like it was on fire. The test was on human anatomy. The horn of her mother’s van sounded, and she scrambled to find her bag on the wall. Illidan’s hand brushed hers as he held it out for her, and she murmured thanks as she fled.

“You’re in a good mood,” Tyrande observed as she plopped onto the wall next to him a minute later.

“Studying for that bio test with Tessa tomorrow.” He knew he was smirking, but he didn’t care.

Tyrande saw the smirk and did a double-take. “The test on human anatomy?”

“Yep.”

“Your dad’s working this weekend.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“And Furion’s already gone.”

“You got it.”

The teal-haired girl was surprised by how much the revelation hurt. Granted, she’d never really thought about her old friend like that, but…well, both brothers were cute, and she’d be a liar if she said she’d never entertained…ideas. Still, she’d all but thrown him at the little Thai girl, so she couldn’t complain when they hooked up, right?

“Make sure you lock the door,” she said as calmly as she could. “Ready to go?”

“Oh, I’m ready.”

The ride to the Stormrage residence was remarkably silent.

 

==================================================

 

Malfurion Stormrage was not nearly as drunk as he wanted to be. Halfway through the jug of moonshine, and well on his way to wasted, he’d gotten some down the wrong pipe and the coughing fit that ensued had led to his stomach emptying itself while he clung to a low tree branch. Sore, aching, and thoroughly depressed, he hadn’t had the heart to try to get drunk on the moonshine that was left. A long, hot shower and a nap were all he wanted. Hopefully he could manage to be asleep when Illidan came back from Tyrande’s…that was where he usually went when Furion got drunk in the woods, something which added to the desire to get drunk. He and Tyrande both insisted, angrily, that he was spending time with Papa Whisperwind out in the pottery shed, but he suspected they were feeling each other up in her bedroom instead.

The back door was locked; good sign. He locked it again before stumbling up the stairs and pushing the door to their room open.

“Did you hear something?” Illidan asked, head turning this way and that as though he could sniff out the sound.

Tessa raised her head from where it had been between his legs, oh god, and turned her head as well. “Nope.”

“I could swear I heard so-oooohhhh, you touch my tra-la-la,” the blind boy breathed, slumping back to lie on his bed while the Thai girl went back to work on his ding-ding-dong.

As quietly as he could, Malfurion eased the door shut again. A shower was out of the question now; they’d hear him and right now, he didn’t think he could deal with facing the fact that his blinded brother had a girlfriend, oh god she was sucking his-

“Oohhhhhhh,” Illidan groaned through the door.

“I touch your tra-la-la?” Tessa said slyly. The bed creaked.

“Mmmm.” More creaking. “Think your mom would let you stay overnight?”

Indistinct noises. “I could call her and ask.”

A girly gasp. “I think you should.”

Malfurion crept down the stairs and out the front door, forgetting to lock it behind him. The pay phone on the corner had never been so precious to him; he fumbled a quarter into the slot and dialed Tyrande’s number.

“Whisperwind residence.”

“Ty-tyrande?” Malfurion didn’t care that he was crying in public. Everything hurt too much.

“Furion? What’s wrong?”

For a moment, all he could do was sob. “It’s Illidan. He’s…”

“Is he okay?”

Malfurion howled. “What’s wrong with me, Tyrande?”

“For one thing,” she said sharply, “you’re drunk.”

“It’s okay,” he tried to reassure her. “I threw up. I’ll be fine. I just- aaaaaaauoa, he’s got a girlfriend and I’m a loser!”

“Furion, where are you?”

“Payphone on…on the corner. Heard them talk about calling her mom to spend the night.” He started sobbing again.

“Furion? Furion, listen to me. I’m coming to pick you up, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”

“I wuh-won’t,” he promised tearily.

“I’ll be right there.”

The phone went dead.

When Tyrande drove up in her mother’s sports car, Malfurion was huddled on the sidewalk, leaning against the telephone pole that boasted the pay phone, blubbering. She stopped the car, but he didn’t seem to see her until she grabbed his hands and hauled him to his feet. He seemed clean, but there was definitely a smell of alcohol on him. He sat limply in the car as she drove back home, and followed her docilely into the house. When she pointed him to the shower, he didn’t hesitate. Her first destination was the kitchen, where she started the coffee maker. Then she dashed up to her father’s loft over the garage and borrowed a pair of flannel pajamas. After that it was back to the bathroom, where she cautiously slipped in and left the pajamas on the toilet and gingerly collected the discarded clothes, all while both keeping her eyes averted from the shower door and cursing that it was too frosted to make anything out. The clothes went into the hamper, which got emptied into the washing machine. The coffee got dosed with cream and sugar, and she grabbed a handful of sugar cookies before going back upstairs. The shower wasn’t running anymore, so she turned the washing machine on and peeked into her room. Malfurion sat with his back to her bed, head in his hands.

“Here.” Tyrande handed him the mug, then the cookies. “You want to talk about it?”

“I’m a fool, Tyrande.” Malfurion nibbled one cookie, made a face, and took a swig of coffee. “I’ve been wasting my life while Illidan…”

“He was wasting his life, too.” Tyrande sat next to him on the floor.

“But now he’s got a girlfriend, and he doesn’t need me anymore. I’m just the crazy nature freak brother.”

“Stop that. You don’t know what he needs, because you don’t talk to him anymore.”

Guilty as charged, Malfurion took a big bite of cookie so that he wouldn’t have to answer.

“You’ve both been grieving his loss of sight, and you’ve both been stupid about it,” Tyrande continued ruthlessly. “But now, I think, you’re both ready to listen, and start talking to each other again, and heal.”

“But he’s got a-”

“Girlfriend. I know. And you’d know, too, if you’d been paying attention to him.”

Guilty again, he sipped coffee.

“You’d have a girlfriend as well, if you cleaned up your act,” she said sharply.

“What do you mean?”

Tyrande turned to face him sternly. “No more drinking. Pay attention to your hygiene. And spend your energy coming up with legal, effective ways to protest abuses of nature instead of trying to live out every bad hippie cliché.”

“And then what?” Malfurion asked, still half intoxicated and feeling that he was missing something.

“Then this.” Tyrande leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, lightly.

The coffee nearly wound up all over the rug.

“Do we have an agreement?”

Carefully, Malfurion put mug and cookies on the bedside table. “Tyrande…”

Whatever else he had intended to say was washed away by a second flood of tears. She held him gently, letting him cry himself out, kissing his damp hair occasionally.

 

=========================================================

 

“Stormrage household,” Illidan said cheerfully. He sounded so much like himself that Tyrande blinked back tears.

“Can I come over for a while?”

“Sure! We were about to order a pizza; dad left money. We can order two.”

“Make it veggie lover’s and you’ve got a deal.”

“You’ve got it, Tyrande. See you in fifteen?”

Tyrande looked at the time left on the dryer. “More like thirty.”

“Ooh, racing the pizza. Alright, see you then.”

“How did he sound?” Malfurion asked, voice strained, as Tyrande hung up the phone.

“Like he did before the accident.”

Furion blinked back tears. “I really am a loser.”

“You’ll never get to second base like that,” Tyrande chided.

“But…he’s pulled his grades back up.”

“And you will, too.”

“He’s getting his life back together.”

“And you will, too.” She pulled him into a hug, his head nestled against her collarbone.

“What would I do without you, Tyrande?”

She kissed the top of his head lightly. “Flunk out.”

=========================================================

“Keep the change,” Illidan said, handing the delivery boy $30.

“Hey, thanks.” His eyes wandered to where Tessa was carefully putting the two pizza boxes on the table. “Man, I know you can’t see it, but your girlfriend’s really cute.”

The blindfolded boy smirked. “Thanks.”

Once the door was closed, he joined Tessa at the table. “Which one’s which?”

Her hands guided his to one bent flap. “That one’s ours, Hawaiian with jalapenos.”

“Good thinking.” A knock on the door sounded, tapping out an irregular rhythm. “Come on in,” he called. “It’s Tyrande,” he said more quietly. “She has a special knock so I know it’s her.” He froze as a second set of feet sounded against the wooden floor.

“Who else is there?” the Thai girl called anxiously.

“Uh…hi.” The voice was close to Illidan’s, but rougher. “I’m Malfurion, Illidan’s brother.”

“Are you sober?” Illidan asked bitterly.

“Close to it.” The other boy sounded tired. “I…I don’t want to fight, Illidan.”

“All three of you, sit,” Tyrande commanded. “I’ll bring you pizza.”

Illidan guided Tessa to the love seat where they held hands nervously. Malfurion sank onto the end of the couch that faced it across a coffee table, gratefully accepting two slices of vegetarian pizza on a cheap china plate. Tyrande carefully handed the blind couple plates of pizza before sitting on the couch next to Furion.

“Illidan, I’m happy that you and Tessa…” Malfurion trailed off, throat tight. Illidan raised one eyebrow, waiting for him to finish, while the blind girl smirked around her pizza. “…are happy together,” he finished.

“I knew I heard something,” the other twin murmured.

Malfurion stared at his plate. “I haven’t been a good brother, and I’m sorry.”

Illidan raised his head in shock, staring blindly at his brother. “Furion?”

“I…didn’t know how to deal with…you being so…” he gestured vaguely. “The accident broke you, and I wasn’t there for you because all I could see was that some big corporation took my brother away and they didn’t care.”

“I wasn’t a very good brother either,” Illidan said warily. “I pushed you away because I was jealous that you could see, and I couldn’t. Then I kept pushing you away because I thought you were wasting your life.”

“I was wasting my life,” Malfurion said bitterly.

“That’s all over now,” Tyrande said firmly. “I think you’re both ready to heal and move on, so I decided the first step was getting you both in the same room and talking.”

Silence.

“I’m failing math,” Malfurion said quietly. “I haven’t told dad yet. Will you tutor me?”

To his surprise, Illidan laughed. “I’d be failing math, too, if Tessa weren’t so darned good at it.”

“I’ll tutor both of you,” the tiny girl piped up, “if you make sure Illidan gets breakfast in the mornings. Something that’s not cereal.”

Malfurion blinked. “What about lunch?”

“I share hers,” Illidan said, flushing lightly.

“Okay, that’s kind of adorable,” the other boy said to Tyrande.

“I know,” she practically purred.

“Well, I should be eating something healthy in the mornings anyway. Breakfast for math. It’s a deal.” He glanced at Tyrande. “And no more drinking, I promise.” Illidan relaxed visibly, and Malfurion put his plate on the table. “Show me your arms?”

The blind twin stiffened again. “How did you know?”

“Who do you think cleaned up after you so dad wouldn’t see?”

Slowly, Illidan put his plate on the table and unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirtsleeves. Reluctantly, he pushed the material up to his elbows and presented the undersides of his forearms, making Tyrande gasp at the network of angry red lines that stretched from wrist to elbow. Hearing the gasp, Tessa ran feather-light fingertips over the half-healed cuts, worry in her blind eyes.

“I don’t do it anymore,” he half-pleaded. “I made the decision to stop almost a week ago, when I realized…” he turned blindfolded eyes to where Tyrande’s voice had been. “…when I realized that I no longer missed the sunlight.”

Tyrande’s eyes widened, as did Tessa’s, each of them realizing that Illidan had been pining after the stern, teal-haired girl. Then Tessa blushed. The activities of the afternoon were still fresh in her mind.

“Well, I still want to get some ointment on those and get them in sterile bandages,” Malfurion said firmly. “And I won’t tell dad about it if you don’t tell him about my drinking.”

“And neither of us tells mom,” Illidan added.

Malfurion shuddered. “Oh god, yes. No one tells mom.”

“Bandage after you eat,” Tyrande said firmly, and both brothers hurriedly stuffed pizza into their mouths. “Illidan, if your brother keeps his act cleaned up, I’m going to be dating him.”

The black-haired boy froze, then slowly chewed and swallowed his bite. “That would have hurt a week ago,” he said slowly.

“A week ago, I wouldn’t have,” she replied evenly. “You know I could never choose one of you for anything if it would hurt the other one.”

A lifetime of refusals to partner for school activities made both brothers nod.

“So,” Furion said tentatively, setting his empty plate back down. “It’s not going to bother you to accept help from me?”

“A crazy little blind Thai girl taught me the difference between friendly offers of help, and charity offered out of pity,” Illidan replied dryly.

“Mom went all melodramatic that her cooking was so bad he didn’t want to eat it,” Tessa supplied cheerfully. “Took him three servings to convince her that her cooking was delicious, and he just didn’t want to be a burden.” She giggled. “Mom said he’d only be a burden if she had to carry him, and any friend of mine was family.”

“Too bad she didn’t say you could spend the night.” Illidan glanced in the direction of his brother. “…although that could be a good thing, now.”

Malfurion suddenly groaned and covered his eyes. “Oh god, that’s why you’re in such a good mood tonight.”

The blinded twin smirked. “Well, it is a remarkably good stress reliever, and I have been under considerable stress lately.”

Tyrande pre-emptively fixed Malfurion with a cold glare that said don’t even think about it.

“Yeah, that would have been awkward if she was staying the night,” Malfurion said innocently. “Wouldn’t want her getting into the wrong bed in the middle of the night…and we are identical twins.”

“Illidan’s bed smells better,” Tessa said matter-of-factly.

Tyrande laughed while Malfurion choked. “You didn’t-!” he gasped when he had breath again.

“We didn’t,” Illidan said through chuckles. “But that’s what you get for insinuating things.”

“I’m getting some more pizza,” the Thai girl said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. “You want any more?”

“Yes,” Illidan said, snaking an arm around her shoulders and returning the kiss. “But not the pizza.”

Malfurion made an indistinct noise and covered his eyes.

“Aren’t you happy to see your brother back to his old self?” Tyrande asked wickedly.

“Thrilled,” Malfurion deadpanned.

“We should have a slumber party sometime,” she suggested suddenly. “All four of us.”

Tessa fumbled another slice of pizza onto her plate. “My mom will probably only okay it if it’s at my place, and she gets to cook.”

“Furion, you have to try the rice-ball-coconut-soup thing she makes. It’s incredible.”

The other boy shook his head. “I feel like I’ve completely wasted a year and a half of my life. What was I thinking?”

“You weren’t,” Tyrande said gently, one hand on his arm.

“I wasn’t either, brother. I was focused only on myself.” Tessa sat down next to him, and he smiled at her. “At least, until someone intruded on my little pool of misery and made me see that the world was still out there, even if I couldn’t see it.”

Malfurion grimaced. “And I was focused on the world, until something made me realize that you were still there, and I was letting life pass me by trying to pretend it didn’t exist.”

The Thai girl shot a grin in Tyrande’s direction. “Boys. What would they do without us?”

“Flunk out,” Tyrande said calmly.

Illidan grinned crookedly and raised his half-eaten slice of pizza in a mock toast. “To girls!”

Malfurion grinned back and hefted his empty plate. “To girls!”