moonshadows | TBTT 18. Baby steps

When the moment of peace finally ends, he opens his eyes and watches as his-

What is she to him? More than just his supposed 'tame demon', certainly. Has she proven herself enough for him to truly think of her as his champion? Dare he invite more disappointment by calling her his student? He dismisses the whole question forcibly, less irritated at himself than he would normally be.

Whatever she is to him, she's calmly picking up the warglaives he had made for her as though nothing had happened. She looks at him, concern written clearly on her features for a few seconds before her expression clears and she tilts her head to one side, glaives lifting slightly in a tentative motion.

"You said we'd start with the basics...?"

It is as though she has anticipated his desire to put the last several minutes behind him, to pretend they never happened. She's not hiding that she saw it, just not making a scene about it. There is no weeping or fussing, no uncomfortable questions, no pity or disdain. Just...discretion.

An emotion he is unaccustomed to feeling sweeps through him, blissfully free of the darker emotions that harry him nearly constantly. After a moment, he names it: gratitude.

"Yes," he says, fully aware that his past is not tormenting him for the time being, and unwilling to receive a venomed bite should he check that particular gift horse for fangs. "The basics. You performed admirably for a novice, but you have a long way to go."

"Teach me, Kal'shan," she says, so very determined to please him. She knows it will be difficult, and it does not dissuade her. Perhaps she will be worthy after all.

The desire to be gentle with her wars with the need to push her as hard as he can to ensure that if she can survive his training, she can survive anything...but both are muted, easily dismissed. Likewise, the razor-edged tangle of fear/guilt/insecurity that he is not as good a teacher as he thinks he should be - this, too, can be ignored, and he does. No doubt they will return to punish him later, but for now, he can forget what he was and simply be who he is. Repression has served him well for over ten thousand years, his most loyal servant, and it performs its task again now.

The Warglaives of Azzinoth come at his command, their weight a familiar comfort.

"Pay close attention," he says. "You start like this..."

She watches eagerly as he demonstrates each motion, absorbing the knowledge he practically hurls at her. This would never have worked with any of her teachers, particularly her Infiltration teacher - what purpose would the class serve if students were just handed the answers? - but this is different. He wants her to know this, but he is aware of the barrier that his halting explanations place between his knowledge and her understanding and as a result, he is thinking very loudly. It's simplicity itself to gather up the years of familiarity and commit them to memory.

With knowledge practically handed to her, she is able to spare enough mental resources to watch his mind function with the aid of the anesthetic foam. She takes note of which pieces are trying to connect to each other and marks them as being the first ones she'll fix - if she ever gets a chance, that is. Right now, she can get a vague idea of what his mind must have looked like before...whatever it was...happened to break him so thoroughly. That's another thing she'll need to look into if she ever gets the chance.

At his command, she repeats the motions he showed her. Slow and awkward as she is with her whole body still sore, her progress still pleases him. His reserved approval makes her determined to ignore her pain, makes her want to keep going until she falls over again - but no, he told her to tell him when she needs a break. The demonstrate-and-repeat pattern gives her enough breathing room that she's not being exhausted like she was when they were sparring, and she is able to keep going without sacrificing pride for health. As she finishes demonstrating the latest series of movements, she catches a flash of proprietary concern behind his impassive demeanor and nearly loses her concentration entirely to the elation that floods her. She's done it! She's managed to utterly defeat the fear that she'll betray him, and he sees her now as someone who belongs to him. Someone who he is responsible for. Someone to protect.

She is actually disappointed when he calls a halt and announces that they're done for the day, despite the way her muscles are threatening open revolt. An amused smile flickers briefly on his lips, making her breath catch.

"Can I take them back and practice on my own?" The words spill out in a rush, warglaives hugged to her chest.

He glowers, to all appearances furious, but his mind shrieks surprised pleasure, pride, and concern. "No. Once you have demonstrated more proficiency and greater stamina, I will arrange for you to have one hour here a day unsupervised, but no more than that without my presence. Is that understood?"

"Yes, my Kal'shan."

She places the blades in the flat closet built into one wall, as directed, and covers herself in her human seeming. From behind her, a flash of irritation - but when she turns around, he is in his own disguise and she is not certain whether the annoyance was at her illusions, or his.

Student, he thinks as he ushers her towards the door. Definitely student.