Julia - Meeting Evi

[moonshadows]

Boss isn’t even gone an hour before she comes striding down the dock like every plank’s going to kiss her feet as she steps on it. I stand impassive on the deck, hands crossed over the baseball bat like it’s my broadsword. Well, modern times, modern weapons.

“Hello,” she calls, all friendly-like, as she sees me standing there.

“Howdy.” It slips out, cool and impersonal, and okay I’ve decided to go the hayseed route since I’m already dressed for it.

She stops in front of me, hands on her hips. “Howdy? Are you for real?”

I don’t answer.

“I’m looking for Duke Crocker,” she says after a moment.

“Boss ain’t heer.”

“Do you know where I can find him?”

Silence. She looks frustrated that I’m not giving her openings.

“Are you this unfriendly to everyone that comes to see Duke?”

“We dun howdied,” I say in a tone of strict disapproval, “but we ain’t shook.”

It takes her a minute to work her way through that. “Hi,” she says warmly, hand stretched out over the water, clearly expecting me to lean over and shake. “Evi Crocker. I’m Duke’s wife.”

I don’t move. “Naw, y’aint.”

Her brow actually furrows; this is hilarious. “Of course I am. What makes you say that?”

“Cuz he ain’t murried.” Honestly, the thought of Duke getting hitched to anyone is as improbable as the Driscolls having a Trouble.

“Says who?”

“Sez him.”

There’s a moment of frustration, just an eyeblink of it, and then she laughs. “And you believed him? Oh, Duke, lying to the hired help. I don’t know if he’s ashamed of me or just taking advantage of you. I assure you, I am his wife. I’m just here to pick up something he’s holding for me. He’s probably got it under the bookshelf in the state room.” She moves closer to the edge of the dock.

“Ah cain’t letchu onta this heer boat,” I say in a tone of pure I wouldn’t if I were you.

She freezes, one foot in the air, and then slowly puts the foot back down. “Why not?”

“Boss dun give me reel strick instrucshuns on who he gonna let make nice wit’ his ole lady when he’s out an’ about, an’ yer name’s not onnat list, missy.”

“There has to be some mistake,” she says in the same tone Duke uses when he’s lying himself out of having been caught. “I’m his wife. Call him, he’ll vouch for me. Or let me talk to him.”

“T’aint no mee-stake, missy. Ah dun care if you be plum crazy or jes fixin’ to burglarize yerself some see-food, y’aint his wife and y’aint onna list, so y’got two choices: leave all peaceful-like, or Ah kin call mah good frien’ the Chief o’ Po-leese.”

The charming, friendly masks fall away, leaving Evi looking at me in a very cold and calculating manner. “I’m surprised,” she says coolly. “And somewhat disappointed in Duke.”

I will not ask. I will not fall for it. But apparently something in my expression gives me away, because she smiles like a hunter with trapped prey.

“Lying to the hired help is bad enough, but leading the simple hayseed on with empty promises of love or sex? That’s just cruel. You know that’s what they are, right? Empty promises. Duke’s using you, using the Crocker charm to take advantage of the Southern simpleton.”

That’s…actually funny. Again I keep silent, but she sees my wordless dismissal anyway.

“Oh,” she coos, “has he led you to believe that he’s attracted to you? Because he’s not. I know him, and I know what he likes.” Evi runs her hands down her body. “More curves than a twelve-year-old girl, to start. Have you seen yourself? He’d never settle for a child when he could have a woman. You’re so tiny he’d tear you in half, and that’s not even taking into account that you’ve got no sophistication. You’re a rube, sweetheart. That’s all you are, and that’s all you’ll ever be to him.”

This would actually hurt a lot if it weren’t for two things: the fact that she hasn’t said anything about my body that I hadn’t heard a thousand times before graduating high school, and…

I smile, slow and sharp. “Mebbe so,” I drawl smugly, “but Ah got th’ key an’ yer standin’ on th’ dock.”

She’s pissed now. “I just need to-”

Evi lunges up onto the deck and the bat is in motion almost before I can blink. There’s a shriek, flailing, and a splash, and then she’s coughing and scrabbling at the dock. It only takes her a minute to haul herself out and she retreats a few steps before turning to glare at me like the maddest drowned rat in the history of sinking ships. Suddenly, I want a picture to remember that moment by, but before I can get my phone out she stalks away, dripping.

I sit on the nearest object and laugh until it hurts.