Timeskip: Tichondrius confrontation

[moonshadows]

“Lady Sunstrider!”

I didn’t look up from the demon’s body; experimentation with Gul’dan’s skull had led to pretty efficient methods of containing and dispersing powerful sources of demonic power, and I was in the middle of siphoning out the soul of the demon called Tichondrius. “What is it?”

“There’s someone demanding to see you, my lady.”

“Who is it? I’m busy.”

My lieutenant sounded uncomfortable as she said, “A druid. Archdruid. I didn’t catch his name.”

“Describe him,” I prodded with the last of my patience.

“Very tall, antlers. Green hair, beard. Golden eyes. And he’s…” I could hear disgust in her voice. “…a night elf.”

That was enough to counterbalance my own disdain with amusement. “Bring him here, please. I need to finish this.”

“Yes, Lady Sunstrider.”

Tichondrius’s soul was neatly trapped in a crystal by the time my visitor walked up.

“Solaria,” he spat as I turned around. “Why am I not surprised to see you in the midst of this demonic encampment?”

“Perhaps because, deep down, you know that despite everything, I’ll always be there to clean up the worst of your messes?”

He wasn’t fooled by my sweet smile. “Or perhaps,” he growled, “because you’re in league with them.”

“What, the horns?” I flicked them absently. “Side effect of surviving an assassination attempt. Really, Furion, use your eyes. If I were in league with these demons, would I be standing so casually by the corpse of their leader?”

“Well, maybe you-”

“I killed him,” I interrupted coldly. “I am here to kill all of them, no matter how much you wish you could make me the villain.”

“I don’t have to wish,” he returned, his voice just as cold as mine. “Your cursed arcane magic drew them, as it did in the past, and yet you refuse to learn from your mistakes.”

“Of course. That’s why they came pouring out of the Second Well on Mount Hyjal instead of sneaking through the woods trying to get there.”

Malfurion’s cheeks darkened.

“I know you have a brain, Furion. Do try to use it from time to time – or did Tyrande spit it out along with your thin, salty seed the last time she managed through sheer stubbornness to get you off between her choking and gagging?”

“You have no idea what you are talking about,” he half-whispered, choking on his rage. “And you do not have the right to address me so informally.”

“Actually, you are the one who has no idea – and I must say, as much as I called it and expected it, it’s still insulting.”

“You dare speak of insults to me?”

My humor was wearing thin. “Yes, Furion, I dare. I would ask rhetorically if you knew why, but you clearly don’t. I dare because if you’d bothered to check any time in the last nine thousand or so years, you’d know that I’ve been gone. But no, you care more about everything else than you do about me.”

“Because you once-”

“Twice.”

“-saved my life?” he sneered. “I never asked for your help. I owe you nothing.”

“Malfurion Stormrage, you are the biggest fool our race has ever produced, and considering some of the elves I’ve known, that’s saying a lot.” A gesture; my skin darkened while my horns grew bigger and my body bulked in all directions as my second skin fell away. “Ten thousand years,” I said quietly into the shocked silence, “and never once did you recognize me under my other skin. Cenarius knew me at once, but you – you, in your arrogance, assumed that without you, I was and had nothing.”

“All this time,” Malfurion whispered, skin pale, “you were the girl?”

“Dath’Remar’s daughter.”

“This means…”

I waited, wondering what conclusion he was coming slowly and painfully to.

“…this means you should be back in your cell.”

“What?”

My undignified screech was bringing someone running. Behind Malfurion, three high elves and five humans stumbled to a stop just inside the clearing. Unfortunately, so did Tyrande.

“You heard me,” he said, voice stronger now. “You may have slipped past your Warden, but that’s easily remedied. Once we’re through mopping up here, I’ll escort you back and-”

“No,” I said, shaking with rage, “you won’t.”

“Don’t make this harder on yourself, Illidan. You know very well that you were sentenced to life in prison until you decided to forswear the arcane.”

“In spite of the fact that your own shan’do saw nothing wrong with me practicing the arcane. Really, Furion, is it even possible for you to not be a pompous ass? Do you honestly think that after spending nine thousand years free, I’d calmly just walk back into a cage underground on your say-so?”

“You did it once,” he hissed, fists clenched. Must have seen that we had an audience.

“You held a farcical trial to which I was not invited, then frogmarched me down with swords at my back and arrows drawn and ready. I didn’t fancy dying when I could find a way out later.”

“I am the head of the Cenarion Circle.”

“That body part seems a little noble for you. Are you sure you’re not the dick?”

“I lead that half of our people!”

I smirked. “I’m not a druid. You have no authority over me.”

Tyrande opened her mouth and stuck her metaphoric foot into it. “But as High Priestess, I-”

“-don’t have any authority over me, either. We Highborne parted ways from the temple with Elune’s blessing thousands of years ago.” I crossed my arms, smiling grimly. “You want me back in that cage, O druid, it’s going to be by force – and I don’t think you want to upset my people or my people’s allies like that. I’m quite well-respected; it would be war, and we are unfortunately familiar with how to wage it. We don’t give a half-chewed fig about your precious Cenarian Circle or your Temple – we’re just here to clear the demons out and then we’ll cheerfully go back home.”

“Until they come back,” he muttered darkly. “Your Well-”

“Please, Furion, idiocy does not run in the family, so what kind of fool do you take me for? One like you? I was the one who reversed the gateway spell ten thousand years ago. Do you really think I would re-create the Well without first warding it against being used the same way?”

Behind him, the humans were staring, appalled, at my twin’s back while the high elves seemed smugly pleased to hear me rage like this.

“Illidan, how dare you speak to your brother like that!”

“He’s not my brother,” I spat. “He’s my twin, but he’s not my brother. A brother wouldn’t have insisted that I do something that made me miserable and ignore what made me happy. A brother wouldn’t have threatened to disown me if I left to follow my dream. A brother wouldn’t have taken the birthnight gifts his twin sent him and gifted them to his woman in exchange for her sucking his cock!”

Now it was her turn to blush with shame and anger.

“Although really,” I continued silkily, “it’s not the giving away that was the real insult. It’s the fact that with what I paid for that bow and quiver, he could have gotten his cock sucked three times in Zin-Azshari – and with a lot more skill than you’ve managed to pick up over the centuries.”

One of the humans sniggered. Two more, and one of my lieutenants, were covering their mouths to hide laughter.

“But wait! Where are my manners?” My second skin slipped easily on, and her eyes widened. “Allow me to introduce myself. Solaria Sunstrider, effective princess of Quel’thalas. You see, not only am I a better man than my twin the infuriated Archdruid – who was born with silver eyes, remember; his eyes are gold as a side effect of nature magic whereas mine have marked me from birth as beloved by destiny – but I’m a better woman than you are. I’m prettier, stronger, more graceful, and I don’t suck cock like a drowning sow.”

“There’s nothing wrong with giving such a gift to a loved one,” she protested stiffly.

I raised my eyebrows. “Did I imply there was? That would make me quite the hypocrite, having been on the receiving end a pleasantly high number of times. No, Tyrande, the humiliation is not in the act, but in the utter lack of skill with which you perform it. Elune must be ashamed.”

“How dare you,” she hissed. “Malfurion, do something!”

“Yes, Malfurion,” I echoed mockingly, “do something! …in front of witnesses. Or you could just do what you do best and stand aside while someone else – namely me – cleans up the mess. Alleria! Report!”

“We’re just about done, Lady Sunstrider,” my lieutenant replied crisply. “Or at least, we were before we heard your shout. The troops have likely finished by now.”

“Excellent, thank you. What’s it going to be, Furion? Are you going to risk what’s left of your people to war with mine, trying to take me prisoner for the crime of not being you? Or are you going to exercise good judgment for once in your life and admit that I’m following my destiny?”

“We are not afraid of war,” Tyrande said coldly.

I smiled sweetly at her. “When was the last war you fought? That running skirmish with satyrs and worgen? As I recall, without arcane magic you were reduced to fighting demons with claws and arrows, and I saved Malfurion’s life twice. We the Highborne fared much better, of course. I think we lost three people, one of them a child who’d wandered into the forest. How many did you lose? How many fell victim to your precious nature magic and became mindless beasts, and how many fell to their fangs?”

 She made no answer, lips pressed into a pale line.

Alleria took a step forward. “We have fought the Amani trolls down from an empire to scattered villages in the woods. We have faced the Horde in open combat. Elune still answers the prayers of our priests. I may be young compared to Lady Sunstrider, or Lord Illidan if that’s the skin she’s wearing, but I’m old enough to value my sisters and my brother and I’m old enough to face combat with hard experience. You don’t have enough people to keep these woods safe.”

“Do not underestimate what a single druid can do,” Malfurion rumbled sternly.

“If you had enough druids to keep these woods safe, Archdruid, the demons would never have been able to get such a foothold.”

“We were deep in the Emerald Dream!”

She shrugged. “Whether you were protecting another front or sitting on your asses, the point remains that you don’t have enough people to keep your territory secure. Lady Sunstrider, is there another encampment in this forest that we need to be concerned about?”

I lifted my face to the sky, communing with the trees. “No, although we may want to check further north.”

“What was that?”

“What was what, Furion?”

“What you just did.”

I opened my eyes to find him glaring accusingly at me. “I asked the trees. Surely you, Archdruid, are familiar with this technique?”

“You’re not a druid,” he said, a note of challenge in his voice.

“You’re right, I’m not.” My smile was sunny and sweet. “That doesn’t mean I can’t learn and use nature magic, just that it’s not where my true skills lie. Oh dear, did Cenarius not tell you that I came back seven thousand years ago to brush up on things with him?”

“Get out,” he ground from between clenched teeth. “Leave this place, and never set foot in our lands again.”

I fluttered my eyelashes. “Just me, Furion, or are you banishing two races from ever coming to your aid again?”

One of the humans, the talented little mage from the island-nation, stepped forward to stand beside Alleria. “I can’t speak for the other kingdoms,” she said calmly, “but on behalf of my father, Admiral Proudmore of Kul Tiras, I hereby decline any and all future requests of aid made by either Archdruid Malfurion or High Priestess Tyrande.” Crossing her arms, she lavished a cold smile on them. “If we choose to help your people at any point in the future, it will be because you convinced our allies that it’s worth spilling our blood to save your skins.”

Furion stared at her. “What did we ever do to you?”

“It’s not what you’ve done to me, but what you would do.” She conjured a small mage-light. “You seem to think that the use of arcane magic deserves life in prison. I object to that. Once I’ve reported this to Archmage Antonidas, I’m sure the Kirin Tor will agree with me.”

“It would be foolish of Lordaeron to alienate its two greatest allies,” that kingdom’s lieutenant said, stepping forward to flank Jaina. “I will recommend the same course of action to King Terenas.”

From Jaina’s other side, Alleria said, “Prince Kael’thas will surely agree with Lady Jaina’s assessment, being as he is also a member of the Kirin Tor. Nevertheless, I will suggest to King Anasterian that Quel’thalas give serious consideration to any request for aid made by the night elf people – and also that we reclaim the territory held by the Highborne before their exodus.” She tossed a smiling glance at me. “After all, we wouldn’t want another demon infestation running rampant on Kalimdor.”

“I think that about sums it up,” I said, nudging Tichondrius’s corpse with my hoof. It crumbled satisfactorily into ash. “Any last words, Furion? No? how about you, Tyrande?”

“You disgust me,” she spat. “To think that you and Furion shared the same womb…where he is a paragon of virtue and compassion, you are a degenerate worthy only of pity.”

“Paragon of…” I shook my head in amazement. “Wow, Tyrande. Are you really so bitter that I didn’t find you irresistible and stick around to moon after you so that you could have both the Stormrage brothers fawning at your feet? Sorry to disappoint, but while you may have been one of the prettier girls in Suramar, you’re a common river stone compared to the fresh-faced beauties of Zin’Azshari, and none of them wanted me to grovel for their affection. If that misguided thought gives you comfort, then by all means keep believing that I am a degenerate – but of the two of us? My bed is far less empty than yours.” I turned to my lieutenants. “We’re done here. Farewell, Archdruid. High Priestess. If Elune and destiny favor me, our paths will never cross again.”

And with that I strolled from the clearing with three high elves and five humans following in crisp formation and Tichondrius’s soul locked in a crystal tucked into my belt pouch.