Exciting hello

[moonshadows]

 

Gabriel had been looking forward to Wednesday night for days. Things were actually going well, and he wouldn’t be going into “Jack time” as a needy wreck to be kissed into submission and then cuddled. He parked the hovercycle and pulled off the helmet, already imagining how he would surprise his boyfriend as he dissolved, seeing the look of delight on Jack’s face in his mind’s eye as he flowed past the crocuses lining the stones of the back walk and under the door, into the kitchen. Jack looked like he was waiting – standing in the living room with his back to the kitchen so he wouldn’t spook his sweetie. Gabriel stood up just behind Jack and slid arms around the solid torso he so loved to snuggle up to, pressing a kiss to the back of Jack’s neck before disengaging and stepping back to appreciate the look of delight.

Jack turned, face lighting up. “Hey, sweetie!”

In that perfect moment, unexpected motion. It took the space of a heartbeat to shift to Reaper, guns out and aimed at the intruder who had emerged from the bathroom-

Shit. That was Jesse McCree. Fingers jerked back away from triggers. Fuck. He’d almost shot Jesse McCree. God DAMN it! McCree was looking at him with fear. Actual fear! HE did this, he was a monster, McCree would never trust him again, he had to flee-

Jack, suddenly filling his field of vision. Arms around his torso.

“Stay with me, sweetie. It’s okay. Just keep your eyes on me.”

But it wasn’t okay, he’d drawn guns on his cowboy son, he was a monster and he had to-

“Sweetie? Whatever you’re thinking, stop. Listen to my voice.”

Stop thinking. Listen to Jack.

“You’re okay, sweetie. It’s okay.”

No, no it wasn’t! He could have shot, he could have KILLED McCree! That was in no way ‘okay’ and he could never face-

“Stay with me, sweetie. I love you.”

If he left, he’d hurt Jack. He couldn’t bear for Jack to be hurt.

Reaper wrapped his arms – guns and all – around Jack.

“Mm, good, sweetie. I love it when you hug me.”

Yes. Hug Jack. Make Jack happy.

“It can’t be easy to hug me while you’re holding your shotguns, sweetie. Can you dissolve them so you can hug me better?”

Reaper dissolved the guns, talon-tipped gauntlet fingers spreading carefully over broad muscle.

“Good, sweetie. Isn’t that better? You’re okay. I love feeling your fingers on my back.”

The gauntlets dissolved, leaving fingers to clutch at Jack and hold him tightly.

“You’re okay, sweetie. Eyes on me. Listen to my voice. Stay with me. I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to warn you that we had a guest. He wants to see you, sweetie. He’s here because he wants to see you.”

And he’d fucked it up. He had to leave, he had to flee his shame-

“If you need to leave, go to the bedroom and I’ll follow, but you’re doing great, sweetie.”

Jack’s head tilted, lips pressing soft kisses to the hard, cold surface of Reaper’s mask. Reaper dissolved it and pressed his face into Jack’s neck, trusting the hood to keep him hidden.

“Good, sweetie, very good. It’s a lot easier to kiss your skin, and I love kissing you. I’m proud of you, sweetie, you’re doing very well.”

Jack was proud of him? He’d fucked up that badly, almost shot Jesse McCree, and Jack was proud of him?

“Whatever you’re thinking, sweetie, stop and listen to my voice. You’re doing great. You’re being very brave, and I love you.”

Jack still loved him. Gabriel let the armor dissolve and clung to Jack, crying into his shoulder while Jack’s hands moved up and down his back.

“Deep breaths, sweetie. That’s it. You’re okay. Good, sweetie. You’re doing great. I’m proud of you, lovey-dove.”

That gave him something to focus on that wasn’t the utter wreck and failure of a human being that he was, and he snorted. “Lovey-dove?” he repeated with dry skepticism.

Jack laughed gently. “No? You’re not my lovey-dove? You’re just my sweetie?”

“Yeah,” Gabriel muttered.

“Okay.” Jack kissed his forehead. “Ready for some couch-cuddles?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Jesse, could you sit in the recliner and cover your eyes?”

Gabriel froze at the reminder that they weren’t alone.

“Shh, sweetie, it’s okay. He wants to see you. He’s going to sit in the recliner and cover his eyes so we can get comfy on the couch.”

Footsteps and the squeak of leather. “Yer clear,” McCree drawled. “Got m’hat over m’eyes.”

Lips on his temple. “Let’s sit down so I can hold you better, okay sweetie?”

Gabriel dissolved and flowed across the room, forming under the blanket. When Jack sat down, he grabbed Jack’s arm and curled around it, face in Jack’s shoulder, the blanket covering his head like a hood.

Lips on his hair. “You’re going great, sweetie. Jesse, you can uncover your eyes now.”

Gabriel braced himself for words of condemnation.

“Well. That sure was a more exciting hello than I was expecting. Good thing I’d already taken a leak so I didn’t have anything t’piss myself with. My record of maintaining clean, dry trousers in the face of your wrath remains unbroken, jefe. Y’need to try harder.”

Despite his shame and humiliation, Gabriel snorted.

“It’s good seeing you again, boss,” Jesse said softly. “Nearly drowned myself along with my sorrows when I saw you die on TV. Thought Jack was losin’ it when he tried to tell me it was you payin’ my tabs, but I have never been so happy to be proven wrong.”

The reminder that he’d caused pain to people he cared about made him hide deeper in Jack’s shoulder.

“Now, I know you gotta be blamin’ yourself pretty dang hard right now,” Jesse said firmly, “because I been there plenty of times. But you talked me down, you let me lean on you and you told me that it wasn’t being weak t’need a break from being badass, and if it was true for me than it’s doubly true for you because jefe, you are the biggest motherfucking badass I have ever seen. You kicked Death in the dick and punched him in the throat. You got revenge for everyone and everything we lost that day, and you deserve a break where you can just curl up and let people fuss over you. It’s hard fucking work being that awesome. Even god had to rest on the seventh day, right?”

Gabriel snorted.

“Now, Jack’s told me the story of how he came to learn who you were and I can understand why y’aint so happy with yourself for some of that, but jefe…it don’t bother me.”

No. Impossible. Gabriel glared at him from under the blanket. “I killed people and ate them,” he growled.

Jesse met his glare unflinchingly. “But y’didn’t torture them, ‘less they deserved it – and I hear Moira deserved it – and you did what you had to do to survive. I got no problem with that. Be a hypocrite if I did.”

“I’ve got a problem with it,” Gabriel snapped.

“Jack doesn’t,” Jesse said quietly.

“Jack’s biased.”

Jesse tipped his head to acknowledge the point as Jack chuckled. “Alright, so y’aint proud of what you done. We all done things we ain’t proud of, jefe. Y’never whored yourself out or raped anyone, and that makes you better’n me in my book.”

That made Gabriel sit up in alarm, silently demanding Jesse explain what the hell he was talking about.

“Y’never asked what shit went down in Deadlock, and I never brought it up, but I started on the streets. Had no way to make money ‘cept selling my body, so I did. That’s how Deadlock got me. I was their little fucktoy until one day I just snapped. Grabbed a guy’s gun, threatened him with it until he got on his knees and then I gave him as good as I’d got. But someone heard the yellin’ and came to see what all the ruckus was, and I shot him dead between the eyes. All of a sudden I was good enough to be one of the men, because I was a better shot than any of ‘em. Got to go on missions, got my own room.” Jesse’s gaze never moved from Gabriel’s, both hands folded over his stomach, hat on the side table. “I ran a nice little secret racket, before shit went down. Extorted the other guys for protection. Only I didn’t ask for money. They wanted to make sure there were no friendly-fire accidents when we went out, their asses were mine for the fuckin’ beforehand.”

“You were seventeen when I pulled you in,” Gabriel protested.

“That I was. They’d had me near three years, and only one of ‘em was I my own man.”

Although his voice was steady, there was fear in Jesse’s eyes. Gabriel scowled. “Did you tell Jack any of this?”

“He didn’t,” Jack said in a strangled voice.

Jesse shook his head. “Haven’t breathed a word of it to anyone since you took me in.”

Gabriel gave him his best no-nonsense look. “Boy, get the fuck on the couch so I can hug you.”

Slowly, although he tried to make it look casual instead of hesitant, Jesse climbed out of the chair and sat on the couch where Gabriel wrapped him in a tight embrace, cheek on the top of the cowboy’s head, rocking slightly. Jesse melted into the hug in a way Gabriel recognized from having done it himself.

“Been afraid for near twenty years now of what your reaction would be when you found out,” Jesse murmured.

“Woulda done this and otherwise kept my mouth shut,” Gabriel murmured back. “You seen a doctor lately? I’m worried about your liver with all that drinking you’ve been doing.”

“I’ll go talk to Angela tomorrow,” he promised.

“Good. Because if I have to treat you the way I’ve kept Jack alive over the years, no one’s going to like it.”

Gabriel released Jesse from his embrace and let Jack pull him back against his chest, curling into a blanket-swaddled ball and resting his head on Jack’s bicep. Jesse turned to give them both a curious look.

“A dose of nanites will cure just about anything,” Jack said dryly, “but the…ah…delivery method…”

Jesse quirked an eyebrow at them.

“My nuts are nanite hives. The most efficient method of extracting a sample of my swarm…”

The expression on Jesse’s face spoke eloquently of needing  good, stiff drink or three. “So Jack, when you said he saved your life in the middle of a mission…”

“I mean he whipped it out and jizzed directly onto the open wounds.”

Gabriel turned his head, half hiding it against Jack’s chest. “There wasn’t time for subtlety.”

“Hey, I’m not objecting. At least it distracted me from the pain.” Jack kissed him several times, hair and temple and anything else he could reach. “I’m just sorry that after all those years, I wasn’t in a position to appreciate the show.”

“I think that’s a show I’d rather miss,” Jesse said firmly. “No offense, jefe, I’m sure it’s amazing. It’s just not my…uh…genre.”

“No offense taken,” Gabriel replied with a soft smile.

Jesse’s expression melted into wonder. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you smile. Like that, I mean. Like you’re not tryin’ to be intimidating or badass or anything, you’re just…you and you’re happy.”

“Jack makes me happy.”

“Good. You deserve to be happy. Especially with you making the world a better place,” he grinned. “If there’s any way I can help you out, boss, just say the word.”

Gabriel turned his head again, Jack stroking his hair.

“This is helping,” Jack said fondly. “I know it may not seem like it, but…this is the most successful visit we’ve had yet.”

“Yer shittin’ me.”

“Reinhardt…accidentally struck a nerve,” Jack said as Gabriel curled tighter and hid his face in Jack’s chest. “Ana’s visit was less…dramatic…but he wasn’t nearly as comfortable with her. Were you, sweetie?”

“No,” Gabriel said softly. “I was also a wreck when I came over that time. Not today.”

Jack hugged him. “Mm, I could tell. Things going well at Talon?”

“Yeah.”

“Should we order a pizza and you can tell us about them?”

Gabriel lifted his head to exchange several soft, passionate kisses with his boyfriend before smiling shyly at him and then glancing at Jesse. The look of relieved approval on the cowboy’s face made his smile wider. “Yeah. I’d like that.”