27. Thank you

[moonshadows]

"Thank you for not...making a big deal out of this, Varian."

In the privacy of the Queen's Garden, the only sounds are leaves whispering in the breeze and the ones that we ourselves make. He turns to me, my hand held gently and loosely in his, eyebrows raised in silent protest.

"Why would I make a big deal of it?"

My cheeks start to burn. "Because...for so long..."

His fingers tighten briefly around mine. "Tari...I know how difficult this is for you. I don't want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable." He smiles crookedly. "Especially since I nearly ruined things so many times by pressing the issue."

Now it is my turn to grip his hand tighter, even as I turn away. "How could you be so patient with me after..." His thumb brushes the backs of my fingers. "...after I..." The memory of his eyes, hurt, vulnerable, and pleading, swims before me. "All the times I said harsh things to you."

"You gave yourself away, my lady." The smile is plainly audible in his voice. "Merciless or without reason, but never both. If you lashed me with your tongue and I had not earned it through misbehavior, I knew there had to be another reason."

"I was frightened." The words are a whisper.

Even though I am still not looking, I can hear him take two steps closer. "I know. You're still frightened, Tari. It's okay. We'll take all the time you need."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

I close my eyes against the welter of emotions, but it doesn't help. "All the times you looked at me, asking for a sign, a single grain of hope, and I couldn't..."

He must have seen the slight tremble, because he walks around to face me. "Hey now, none of that, my lady." Gently, the fingers of his other hand brush my cheek. "Tari. Look at me." He waits until I have hesitantly met his gaze, and his eyes are as vulnerable as I have ever seen them. "Just knowing that you-" the word flashes through his eyes, but he does not say it. "-let me call you that is a treasure beyond price. You put me through a gauntlet and held me to the highest standards possible and despite all the times I messed up, you never gave up on me. How can I possibly do any less for you? I love you enough that I pretended I didn't when you asked me to, when I didn't know if I would ever gain a favorable judgment. I love you enough to not cross the boundaries you set up. Taretha Foxton of the Frostwolf, Lady of Durnholde, I swear to you on the spirit of my father that I will not take a liberty with you that you have not granted me explicit permission for."

"Varian..." No words rise up to follow his name, and I find myself gently tracing his scars instead. His eyes close and he looks remarkably at peace.

“Tari…” He swallows, eyes still closed. “The day you asked me to kiss you. What was it that you said I would never change on?”

I smile as my hand comes to rest cupping his cheek. “Being a kind, noble man who loves me.”

His free hand creeps up towards mine but stops short of touching it and he chuckles, opening his eyes at last and bathing me in his molten adoration. “You are absolutely correct, my lady wife. I will never change on loving you and as long as you are by my side, you will ensure that I never change on the others.”