moonshadows

Snow was falling lightly as the minions charged, their bodies pumped full of the experimental serum Loki’s unfortunate allies had created. The rush of strength and speed did not last long; their bodies needed regular doses, and even at that, they would soon devour themselves. It was a brutal, ineffective drug – but with refinement, it could be quite a threat. Loki strode brazenly through their screaming, howling ranks, glorious in his green-and-gold armor, a long spear carried in one hand as though it were a scepter, and called for his loyal servants to strike down the enemy. They clamored and rushed headlong, falling to a spray of bullets that pinged harmlessly off of the magic that shielded Loki. From the sides of the heavily-armed prison compound, vehicles rolled into position and fired heavy, steel-cable nets. The few lumbering minions that still lived raged blindly against this insult, but soon their strength waned and they fell, panting, to the ground. That’s when the canisters of knock-out gas released their contents.

Through it all Loki stood straight, his very posture denying the fact of his entanglement by the nets, his magic keeping him safe from the gas. He did not deign to struggle, merely dismissed both armor and spear as the SHIELD agents pointed numerous weapons at him. This compound was, of necessity, a considerable distance away from anything else, and they had not expected an attack at all – much less three days before Christmas. For all of that, however, they had responded with admirable swiftness to the portal that had deposited three-score howling fanatics at the edge of the fifty-yard no-man’s land that stretched from the front door of the compound to the woods.

“…aircraft on its way,” their commander was saying as she strode fearlessly up to Loki. The two agents to either side leveled their firearms at him. “The net is electrified,” she said without preamble. “You so much as sneeze, and you’ll be eating enough electricity to fry an elephant.”

“Yum.”

“Laugh it up; you’re staying here until your ride arrives. Your friends will be given first-class accommodations inside.”

“Be sure you search them,” Loki said mildly. “It would be a shame if one of them woke up and managed to inject himself with another dose.”

~*~*~*~*~

Romanoff was the first one off the jet, and Loki cheerfully held his hands out for shackling while Barton kept an arrow trained on his eye.

“You’re slipping,” she said dryly as she signaled for the four SHIELD agents on the jet to come escort him to his seat. “Not a single casualty on our side. Not even any properly damage.”

Loki shrugged. “This was merely a test of the serum, and it went splendidly as far as I’m concerned.”

The Black Widow frowned and stalked off to talk to the base’s commander. Loki settled comfortably into his seat in the jet and casually examined the guards sitting across from him. One of them had dark circles under her eyes, and he frowned.

“Not losing sleep over me, I hope?” he joked lightly.

She jerked, then flushed. “No, I, uh…”

He hit me, screamed her heart.

“Did you hit back, then?”

“What? No, he was just…”

The other guards were staring now.

“Who was just what?” asked Agent Larson.

“If he raises his hand to you, then he is unworthy of you,” Loki said quietly. “Such behavior is not tolerated on Asgard, and it sickens me to think that a strong, beautiful warrior such as yourself could be cowed by so pathetic a wretch. If he had any respect for you, any love in his heart for anyone but himself, he would never strike you. You are better off without him.”

She stared at him, mouth open, for several seconds. “Why do you care?” she asked in a small voice. “I thought you wanted to rule us.”

“Were I to rule any realm,” Loki announced loftily, “I would not permit what your culture terms ‘domestic violence’. Such a thing has no place between two who care for each other, and if it exists in a household, then the aggressor should forfeit the loved ones that he or she betrayed by his or her dishonorable acts.”

He could see her heart shaking off its doubts. Shakily, she smiled at him.

“I’m going to have a long talk with him tonight. It’s weird getting relationship advice from you, though.”

“No weirder than him being happy to listen to me go on about my son.” Larson said with a grin.

“That reminds me. Agent Larson, the commander neglected to search me for any dangerous substances. Would you do the honors?”

The four guards glanced at each other, then at the approaching Romanoff.

“Agent Romanoff,” Larson said smartly. “Loki suggested we search him.”

“Considering that every one of his minions had vials of some kind of chemical on them, that’s a good idea. Behave, Loki.”

“Always,” he purred, standing for his pat-down.

“A card? Who’s Jonathan?” Romanoff brandished the festive green envelope.

“My son.” Larson said, eyes wide.

“You got his son a card.”

Loki shrugged. “Why not?”

“You didn’t get me a card,” the Black Widow quipped.

“Would you have accepted it?”

She grimaced. “Probably not.”

“You’ll have me in custody for Christmas, isn’t that generous enough?”

“Don’t make me find the muzzle,” she retorted, and left to join Barton in the cockpit.

~*~*~*~*~

Fury didn’t look happy to see Loki as they led him off the jet.

“Really, Loki?” was all he said.

The Asgardian shrugged. “Samples for Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark, Agents Romanoff and Barton got to handcuff and threaten me, no one died, and you’ll have me in custody again. It’s so hard to shop for you people, but I think I got something for everyone.”

The corner of Fury’s mouth twitched. “Unfortunately, you neglected to tell us we were exchanging gifts this year. Unless you want to bunk in Hulk’s room, the best I can do is a level 3 holding cell and you keep the handcuffs on. The council read me the riot act for putting you in the restraining field before it had been fully tested for emergency power loss situations.”

“Testing still not complete?” Loki asked sympathetically.

“Which is it going to be, Loki? Level 3 with the cuffs, or Hulk’s room?”

“I’ll take the trap-door cell with the built-in bathtub. It’s so hard to read in these things.”

Fury’s lips twitched again. “Maybe we’ll get you your very own detainment cell next Christmas.”