Sleeping on the couch

[moonshadows]

“Don’t ask permission.” Jack shook his head slowly, emphasizing the point. “This is our house, as far as I’m concerned, and you don’t need my approval or permission to enter or leave. You want to come in at three in the morning and stay exactly seven minutes? Do it. You want to come by for breakfast and then leave? Do it. Come whenever you want, leave whenever you want, whether I’m home or not. It’s your home, too. Okay, sweetie?”

Gabriel ducked his head against Jack’s chest, feeling protected, feeling loved as Jack wrapped his arms around Gabriel. “Okay,” he whispered.

It was one thing to enter the house, Gabriel thought as he stood in the kitchen somewhere past one in the morning, but it was quite another to join Jack in bed without the other man’s knowledge or consent. That’s something he would have done in the past, had done in the past – say fuckit and make himself at home like he was supremely confident Jack wouldn’t mind – but that was when he was sure he could never have anything more than brazenly forcing himself into Jack’s personal space and relying on the unspoken acceptance of the man’s feelings towards him.

Now that he had more, he didn’t want to risk it.

The couch was more than comfortable enough. The blanket Jack kept there for him to hide under was warm and familiar. The throw pillow wasn’t quite Jack’s leg, but it was soft and cool. Gabriel curled up and felt the defenses come down, felt himself relax enough to sleep for the first time in three days.

=

Gabriel came awake suddenly, eight hours later, the maximum his swarm would let him stay in that deep of a sleep no matter how long it had been. He blinked until his tired eyes focused on the…mug and plate sitting on the coffee table?

Eggs, bacon, toast, and what was probably coffee.

He looked up to see Jack in his recliner, mug in one hand and morning paper in the other, apparently engrossed with both.

“You made me breakfast,” Gabriel said quietly. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Jack set the mug and paper down, stood, stretched, and walked over to sit on the couch in his usual spot, Gabriel pushing himself up until he was settled and then laying back down with his head on Jack’s thigh.

“You slept on the couch,” Jack said gently, fingers trailing through Gabriel’s short hair. “You didn’t have to do that.”

The forgiveness implicit in such intimate physical contact gave him the strength to confess. “Didn’t want to disturb you.”

Jack urged him wordlessly up, pulling him against his chest where he could wrap his arms around Gabriel and press his cheek to the short hair he’d been caressing.

“Sweetie, you climbing into bed in the middle of the night doesn’t disturb me. It makes me feel warm and happy. Waking up to find you on the couch makes me feel like you don’t want to share a bed with me, and that disturbs me.”

“I’m sorry,” Gabriel whispered, eyes closed as he pulled himself into a tighter ball. “I want to share a bed with you. I’m sorry.”

“Our house, sweetie, our bed. Whether I’m there or not. You’re always welcome. You always have been.”

“Even if I’m gone when you wake up?”

“Of course.”

He could hear the frown in Jack’s voice.

“Hypervigilance. Hard to sleep at Talon sometimes.”

“Oh, sweetie…” Jack hugged him harder. “Any time you need to sleep, love. Please. I don’t want you suffering. Were you able to sleep okay on the couch?”

Gabriel relaxed against Jack’s chest. “Yeah.”

Lips on his hair. “You know that means you see the safehouse as actually being a safe house, right?”

“Our house,” he countered, smiling.

Jack chuckled. “You know, I picked this house because I had fantasies of settling down with you in it?”

He did not, in fact, know. “You did?”

“Yeah. Call me a sap, but it’s exactly the sort of two-kids-and-a-dog-white-picket-fence place I dreamed about when I was younger. So I snapped it up for a safehouse and told myself that some day, I’d live there. Ideally, with you. That’s why I came here after…”

“After you found out…”

“After you confirmed my suspicions. I had a lot of thinking to do. And then Talon went silent and I started fixing the place up while I waited for your next move…”

“Which was weeding out the assholes in Talon.”

“And then you started sending me gifts, and well…” Jack sighed. “I hadn’t really had a home since the Crisis. But now here I was, and you were doing what you could to let me know you cared, and I wanted…” A shaky breath. “I wanted to make it the home I always wanted to share with you. Flowers lining the front walk to greet you as you came home. Although you never come in the front door, do you? I should put something by the back door for you. Vegetable garden out back so we’d have our own fresh produce.”

“The neighbors love seeing you work,” Gabriel teased. Then, softly, “I love seeing you work, too.”

That got him kissed.

“That reminds me,” Jack said, one arm around Gabriel’s shoulders and the fingers of the other twined around his sweetie’s. “I want to get some strawberry plants for the back yard and maybe something to go inside, spider plants or some ivy, something that hangs.”

“I hope that wasn’t asking me for advice,” Gabriel murmured into Jack’s shoulder, “because the only thing I’ve ever really managed to keep alive is you.”

Jack laughed.